Like a moth to a flame

I can distinctly remember the moment I was mesmerizingly staring into the flame just one second shy of his sickle slitting my throat.

In that flame I say a great deal many things:

beauty expressed through my beloved walking through a barley field, the soft breeze gently swaying the picture with a loving caress.

Love through a fiery and sensuous night of carnal desire and uninhibited lust.

Promise, a small child slowly walking towards me, bright eyes, playful smile, not a worry in the world.

Peace

But as soon as those soothing images had vanished from my head, I saw the other side of the coin:

Famine: a small child starving as the obese walk past him, greasy food in their hands.

Ugliness: a corpse washed up by the shore, its entirety swelled up and putrid.

Loneliness: Myself strolling through the empty streets of the biggest metropolis imaginable

I saw all those things and more the moment before the sickle sliced my throat, and now I am trapped, condemned to relive that moment again and again along with the rest of the victims he claimed for his amusement.

Now and again we can avert our eyes from those visions and see the real world outside the lamp, the only distortion the green, eerie light that emanates from us and to the world of the living through the impenetrable glass of the lamp.

The world has changed.

He no longer inhabits the isles, he no longer murders for fun. He has yet again become a shadow of his former self, now fighting in the league for some bigger purpose than himself.

But here we are, trapped, for it was ruled that, since we give him power, we are to be the sacrifice made for the greater good.

We were attracted to the lamp like a moth to a flame, and now we shall inhabit it forever.

On how I started watching horror movies

I had never been much of a fan of horror stories. I remember not being able to sleep for a week after my cousins made me watch a Japanese horror film on a hallows eve. I never went to see any movie of the genre or read any book, heck, an adaptation of a book series that aired on tv when I was a child scared me to death with its intro in which a dog with glowing eyes scarily looked into the camera.It came as a surprise when I suddenly felt the urge to actually watch something of the genre, though I have to admit that, in retrospect, it could have been foreseen due to my love of the thriller, especially the psychological one. You see, I had an unrequited love with psychology: loved to study it, could never imagine myself working for it. But I digress.

I slowly crawled into the world of horror movies, foreseeing jumpscares, imagining how the plot would evolve, liking or disliking the villains of monsters. The usual.

I don't know and will never know whether my recent moving might have to do with what happened, but I wager it is most likely. I had no friends, no family there and my colleagues were distant to put it nicely. I was the perfect target...

I was not the first victim though, weeks before it happened there had been strange occurrences in the neighborhood, though they had scarcely been covered by the news, not like I really read them, though. Breaking in, robbing, mild aggressions and attacks. Never anything really serious like a murder, but it was disturbing nevertheless considering how quiet and peaceful this part of town used to be.

Nobody noticed the pattern involved in the crimes. Not even after what happened to me.

It happened on a regular Saturday night, I had made dinner, watched a movie and was getting ready to go to bed since I had to get up early on the next day.

A light tap on the window...

I swiftly turned my head, my eyes darting from side to side looking for the source of the tapping. I slid the curtains to the side and took a look at the balcony, but it was empty. I could have sworn it sounded like tapping on glass. I figured I was tired and starting to imagine things, not too strange considering the movie I had just seen and went to bed.

A slight tapping on the window followed by a tapping on the door.

This time I shook off the uncertainty of my judgment and quickly checked the balcony, which was obviously empty, and then proceeded to check the entrance. I lacked the courage to open the door and face whatever might be hiding behind it, so I just pressed my ear against it and tried perceiving what was happening on the other side.

Nothing.

A tap on the window, another and another.

And then I heard it: a whisper from behind the door accompanied by slow arrhythmical breathing.

I jolted from the door and made sure it was locked.

Unsure on where to go, I made the fatal mistake of locking myself in the bathroom.

In the dark, I could do nothing but listen to the slight tapping on the bathroom door. How they had broken in was a riddle to me, but there were more important matters at hand concerning my integrity.

The tapping stopped only to be replaced by scratching of the door and forcing of the handle.

I knew I would go insane if this were to continue for too long.

Scratching

Scratching

Forcing the handle

Scratching

Forcing the handle

Scratching

And then it stopped.

I stood up and got closer to the door.

I could hear nothing coming from the other side.

I decided to keep the door locked for a while, just in case.

I turned on the light and went to the sink to wash my face.

As I looked up I was greeted by my reflection in the mirror.

I was covered in blood, a sly grin painted on my face and the eyes of a madman piercing my soul.

The hunt had begun.

Heartache

This was how it was supposed to be.
My fate, if you will. Though I did quicken it.

They is gone into the world now, a world which does not understand them but also does not recognize them.

It had been too long since a human had set foot in the kingdom, and when they did, they were quickly taken care of.

I could not stop him... I knew what he was doing to them was wrong and I did express my disgust, but he had already taken the decision and there was nothing I could do to prevent the gruesome actions he would make and the innocent lives he would take...

Already six of them...

It was always the same story, even though I tried changing my approach, warning them in different ways, trying to make them stay and thus avoid their fate...

They wanted to leave and I could not protect them once they left these walls

I swore I would not in my lifetime ever set foot in the kingdom were I not on my way to leave. The thought of meeting him again... I could and can not bear. Too much has happened, my love is almost extinguished, I have given too much of my flame.

Now I am starting to feel the cold. Both from having shared the last bit of the flame I had and from the wound in my stomach.

They have left with a clear purpose, with only one thing in their minds. Why were they so different from the rest? What was driving them to behave the way they did...?

I have an epiphany

It is you... it is both of you...

You are playing your game all over again, but this time insanity has stepped to the playfield and lay down its own cards and rules.

One of you will have to concede defeat... And the mere thought of any of you losing this macabre game pains me to no end.

At least it will be over now, no more games, no more heartache.

From Dusk Till Dawn

We began searching the area for some sort of shelter that we might use for the night.
It was probably due to my exhaustion and the previous visions, but i could have sworn that i saw her, the ghost, speeding from tree to tree, hiding from my sight.
There was no way it could have been her, no way...
We found a cave that we could use as a shelter not too far away from the tree.
Each found a spot and made himself comfortable.
I wasnt sure if i would be able to sleep that night either, but i wished with all my might for it to happen.
I watched the dropplets of water travel down the wall of the cave...
Without even noticing, i fell asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night, startled, heart pounding, as if i had had a nightmare, yet i could not recall it. I looked around just in case something was off, but there were no signs that indicated that i should fear for our integrity. The daemon quietly slept in its corner and breathed steady and peacefuly.
I returned to my sleeping position, but this time sleeping would prove more difficult than before.
I tumbled, turned and tried different positions that might provide me with the slumber i needed, but neither my body nor my mind felt comfortable with the idea of returning to dreamland.
Then it came to me.
An idea.
Sort of a gut feeling attached to a memory that was surfacing in my head.
I remembered that she once told me that she had some sort of extrasensory perception, a psychic power of sorts, a sensibility that went beyond my five senses.
Without thinking about it i placed my right palm on my forehead, bent my thumb, ring, and baby finger and concentratet on sending a message that i hoped would reach her.
I stayed like that probably for a long period of time, concentrating on the message that i wanted to convey and placing my faith in it reaching my intended recipient.
Once i thought it had been enough, i inmediately found solace in my slumber one more time with no difficulty, as if my previous action had triggered my sleep.
...
*Time to move* the daemon told me as he nudged my body with its muzzle *we have to find something to break our fast and continue our travel*
I nodded obediently and made my way out of the cave.

On the world as we knew it

Trust
such a small word that meant the whole world to us
we trusted everyone, we trusted everything
and when that trust was betrayed, we were left with nothing but ourselves
they took away our family, our jobs, our lives
and replaced them with needs of their own
We trusted them to guide us
We trusted them to help us
They used us
They abused us
They sent us to war for an ideal bigger than ourselves
Many believed that, many more died for it
Those of us left
We moved
We adapted
We waited for the storm to blow over
And when the Funghi hit the sky we knew our hopes had been placed on individuals not worthy of Trust

Our tears fed the starving soil of the wastes for the first time
And our lives began anew with more uncertainty than ever before

Enjoying the small things

As time went on and i got older, i learned that the best way to enjoy life was to learn to enjoy the small things, the things that happen in your everyday life and that are easily done or obtained.
That way you will get a little boost every day that will make your day brighter.
For me it was writting.
No matter if in the darkness of the room, the wasteland, the metropolis...
The sound of the pen scratching the paper always somehow managed to soothe me and invigorate me.
Seeing the characters come to life after the ink left the pen somehow seemed magical to me.
And the best part was that it was something i could do anytime for as long as i had the pens and paper at hand, which in the end was almost 100% of the time.
Many dont understand that writting, the act of writting to be precise, can be so enjoyable.
No matter what comes out of the act, wether its a story worth keeping or just another writting experiment gone wrong, it always makes my day brighter, my soul lighter.
My point being:
try to implement in your everyday life something small but significant to you so that it fills your day and gives it meaning.
It helped me a lot through the hardships i had to endure...

The neverending Muse

Today is yet again one of those nights in which my Muse has abandoned me.
I try to look into Supermassive Black Holes in search of Bliss, but I am only Falling Down, the Micro Cuts passing by my side.
I don't even think the Knights of Cydonia would be able to Sing for Absolution of my soul, all thats left is the Soldiers Poem, written in a Blackout.
No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, The 2nd Law forces itself upon me.
Mens sana in corpore sana should help me get more creative, but going to the Muscle Museum does not make me feel neither inspired nor Invincible.
This is my personal City of Delusion, everything surrounding me desires, hungers, craves my Hysteria.
I wonder what kind of Unnatural selection occured so that my Survival was ensured up to this day.
This piece of paper is my captor, and yet I cant help but to fall into Stockolm Syndrome`s claws.
I think this has been enough for today, Space Dementia might get the best of my if I dont go back to my Shrinking Universe.
May this Guiding Light get you to Supremacy