"But at the end of the day, there is not that much crime to be accounted for, people are unlikely to commit crimes"
'And how exactly does one run such a vast complex without much crime, it is a lot of people confined to a relatively small area'
"It was the 4s idea, one of the very first actually"
'...yes?'
"Curious?"
'Quite, to be frank'
"You see, the development of technology did not only bring with it the advancement of soul surgery, as we like to call it. We were also able to develop simulations so real, that the subjects were in no way able to discern between reality and fiction"
'I am acquainted with the advancements made by the enclave'
"No doubt you are. Anyway, the 4 decided to conduct a little experiment. They based the eventual positive results of their method on the premise that, once the soul has saciated its innermost, darkest desires, the mind is at ease and the individual can carry on with their normal life"
'Enabling their fantasies? That hardly sounds feasible, legal or moral'
"It is if their actions have no repercusion on the real world"
'Simulation of the crime?'
"Precisely. We would abduct the individuals that presented certain patterns of behabior associated with crime proneness and introduce them to a simulation tailored to their personalities in such a way that they would be enabled to act on their impulses without realising that what they were doing was part of a simulation"
'I have to admit that I am quite skeptical of the notion, yet it does seem to bear most satisfactory fruit'
"It is a costly and meticulous process, but I can assure you that it is worth every second and credit spent on it"
'There is one question that comes to mind though: Do you tell the subjects that their actions have had no repercusion in the real world?'
"We tend not to... that way they live in fear of getting caught and judged. They make model citizens after the crime has been commited"
'Hm'
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta story. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta story. Mostrar todas las entradas
6/4/17
26/3/17
Fortitudo
I am the strenght needed to make the decisions that must be made.
I am the force that fights against the injustices in the world.
I am the fortitude against the odds, against the enemies, against ignorance.
I am the resolve necessary to take challenges head on and never waver.
I am the bravery in the moment of truth, the courage that fills you when you need it most, the valor required to take the step to a brighter tomorrow.
I am Fortitudo, one of the four heads of the Enclave.
I enforce the laws dictated by Iustitia, defy Temperantia while heeding the warnings of Prudentia.
I command the police force, the military
I praise those that, through me, achieve their dreams and desires, change the world for the best, fight for what is right. In moments of need, praise my name, summon me to your battlefield, no matter the time, no matter the place, let me aid you in your effort.
No battle shall be resolved without me by your side, no justice can be achieved without me.
For I am Fortitudo, bearer of truth.
I am the force that fights against the injustices in the world.
I am the fortitude against the odds, against the enemies, against ignorance.
I am the resolve necessary to take challenges head on and never waver.
I am the bravery in the moment of truth, the courage that fills you when you need it most, the valor required to take the step to a brighter tomorrow.
I am Fortitudo, one of the four heads of the Enclave.
I enforce the laws dictated by Iustitia, defy Temperantia while heeding the warnings of Prudentia.
I command the police force, the military
I praise those that, through me, achieve their dreams and desires, change the world for the best, fight for what is right. In moments of need, praise my name, summon me to your battlefield, no matter the time, no matter the place, let me aid you in your effort.
No battle shall be resolved without me by your side, no justice can be achieved without me.
For I am Fortitudo, bearer of truth.
20/3/17
Coming Clean
To whom it may concern,
I have done terrible deeds, betrayed, killed, stolen...
Betrayed my loved ones.
Killed my dreams.
Stolen someones heart.
But here I stand before you, with the firm belief that sin can go unpunished as long as there is a will to change and the determination to do it.
With the promise that I wish to make amends and to change my ways, prove useful to the world, prove useful to myself.
With the hope that one day not only justice, but also my loved ones will turn the other cheek and forgive my past mistakes, look forward to my bright future.
With the wish that there is no fate for any one of us, that we can shape both our and others´ future with the blood in our body and the sweat on our brow, the blisters on our hands.
With the plea that my past does not have to determine my future or the judgement thereof, that there is hope even for the hopeless, absolution for the sinner, a heaven for the unbeliever.
To whoever reads this I ask, do not judge me by the actions I took in the past, lest it is in its proper context and with a clear and sound mind free of bias and judgement. Things I did I am not proud of, but I would do again if the situation demanded it.
/ --- /
Four heads nod in agreement after reading the letter.
Judgement has been passed.
I have done terrible deeds, betrayed, killed, stolen...
Betrayed my loved ones.
Killed my dreams.
Stolen someones heart.
But here I stand before you, with the firm belief that sin can go unpunished as long as there is a will to change and the determination to do it.
With the promise that I wish to make amends and to change my ways, prove useful to the world, prove useful to myself.
With the hope that one day not only justice, but also my loved ones will turn the other cheek and forgive my past mistakes, look forward to my bright future.
With the wish that there is no fate for any one of us, that we can shape both our and others´ future with the blood in our body and the sweat on our brow, the blisters on our hands.
With the plea that my past does not have to determine my future or the judgement thereof, that there is hope even for the hopeless, absolution for the sinner, a heaven for the unbeliever.
To whoever reads this I ask, do not judge me by the actions I took in the past, lest it is in its proper context and with a clear and sound mind free of bias and judgement. Things I did I am not proud of, but I would do again if the situation demanded it.
/ --- /
Four heads nod in agreement after reading the letter.
Judgement has been passed.
17/3/17
Rain
"Remember the day we got here?"
*Hard to forget...*
"We made it though, our strugles were worth it"
*Meh, we shall see about that, too much ahead of us, too many amends to make*
"True... True..."
*I had never seen such an intense rain. We were cold, starving, drenched, alone...*
"And yet we found kindness in those around us nevertheless, kindness we did not spare towards our friends..."
*What do you think has become of them?*
"I hope they are alright... The banshees... I dont know, I just hope they are fine, or at least alive. I want to share with them the grief my treachery caused both me and them. I could only hope for their forgiveness, though I certainly can not and will not expect it."
*I think they will forgive us*
"What makes you so sure?"
*She knows us, she has experienced other hardships with us, she knows we did not mean it*
"Not meaning it is not enough, we endagered them needlessly..."
*We have to get stronger*
"But how?"
*That I do not know yet, but I know we will find out together*
"That is certain"
We looked at the crowded street that lay beyond the end of the alley we had been living in for the past week.
We had a long way to go, but at least we had been able to finish this chapter of our lives almost unscathed.
With renewed vigor, hope and determination, we made our way into the new world that lay beyond our alley.
*Hard to forget...*
"We made it though, our strugles were worth it"
*Meh, we shall see about that, too much ahead of us, too many amends to make*
"True... True..."
*I had never seen such an intense rain. We were cold, starving, drenched, alone...*
"And yet we found kindness in those around us nevertheless, kindness we did not spare towards our friends..."
*What do you think has become of them?*
"I hope they are alright... The banshees... I dont know, I just hope they are fine, or at least alive. I want to share with them the grief my treachery caused both me and them. I could only hope for their forgiveness, though I certainly can not and will not expect it."
*I think they will forgive us*
"What makes you so sure?"
*She knows us, she has experienced other hardships with us, she knows we did not mean it*
"Not meaning it is not enough, we endagered them needlessly..."
*We have to get stronger*
"But how?"
*That I do not know yet, but I know we will find out together*
"That is certain"
We looked at the crowded street that lay beyond the end of the alley we had been living in for the past week.
We had a long way to go, but at least we had been able to finish this chapter of our lives almost unscathed.
With renewed vigor, hope and determination, we made our way into the new world that lay beyond our alley.
8/3/17
Better suited purpose
"Oh, goodness, no, we do not employ the death penalty anymore."
"Then how exactly do you keep your criminals in check? I know that you sell the image of being a crimeless enclave, a safe haven of sorts, but you and I both know that just PR, you can not control everyone at anytime and things are bound to get dirty sometimes"
"Sharp as ever. Yes, we do have a contingency plan for those... unpleasant events. But, as you know, we do not have a prison either. Guess what our secret is"
"I could imagine you booting them out of the enclave. You do not have to worry about them anymore and the creatures outside these walls take care of the rest. It would be quite clever and quite truthfull"
"We did consider that solution in the first phases of the enclave, but in the end we opted for a... better solution. Optimal you could say"
"Please, iluminate me"
"They serve the enclave as its army"
"You surely must be jesting. How would you ever get them to agree to that, even less put their lives on the line for an ideal they have forsaken. How would that even work?"
"Quite easily my dear. The desire to live is both a powerful drive and quite an accesible one."
"Brainwashing?"
"Better. We convince them that, if they were to succeed in their tasks, they would get a clean slate. Complete erasure of their criminal record. A new beginning, free of the burden of their Sins"
"Is that even feasable?"
"Obviously not. Any citizen that has concerned themself with the enclave rules knows that their stay here is a priviledge, not a right, and that they are playing a delicate one strike game."
"So you lie to the convicts and play with their feelings in order to have access to the most loyal army this part of the world has?"
"Quite so, quite so..."
"It is as evil as it is brilliant"
"I can not take all the credit for it, we had the help of many external consultants that helped us draft the actual procedure and modus operandi."
"Still, enviable to say the least."
"Oh, and do not think of it as us taking advantage of their situation. Think of it as us giving them a purpose more suited to their skillset and condition."
"Then how exactly do you keep your criminals in check? I know that you sell the image of being a crimeless enclave, a safe haven of sorts, but you and I both know that just PR, you can not control everyone at anytime and things are bound to get dirty sometimes"
"Sharp as ever. Yes, we do have a contingency plan for those... unpleasant events. But, as you know, we do not have a prison either. Guess what our secret is"
"I could imagine you booting them out of the enclave. You do not have to worry about them anymore and the creatures outside these walls take care of the rest. It would be quite clever and quite truthfull"
"We did consider that solution in the first phases of the enclave, but in the end we opted for a... better solution. Optimal you could say"
"Please, iluminate me"
"They serve the enclave as its army"
"You surely must be jesting. How would you ever get them to agree to that, even less put their lives on the line for an ideal they have forsaken. How would that even work?"
"Quite easily my dear. The desire to live is both a powerful drive and quite an accesible one."
"Brainwashing?"
"Better. We convince them that, if they were to succeed in their tasks, they would get a clean slate. Complete erasure of their criminal record. A new beginning, free of the burden of their Sins"
"Is that even feasable?"
"Obviously not. Any citizen that has concerned themself with the enclave rules knows that their stay here is a priviledge, not a right, and that they are playing a delicate one strike game."
"So you lie to the convicts and play with their feelings in order to have access to the most loyal army this part of the world has?"
"Quite so, quite so..."
"It is as evil as it is brilliant"
"I can not take all the credit for it, we had the help of many external consultants that helped us draft the actual procedure and modus operandi."
"Still, enviable to say the least."
"Oh, and do not think of it as us taking advantage of their situation. Think of it as us giving them a purpose more suited to their skillset and condition."
4/3/17
At the End there is a Ribbon
In the time I had spent in the forest, how much I could in no way quantify, I had noticed funny things that were happening all around me.
Starting with the bizarre abundance of edible seeds and plants growing on the seemingly infertile soil. I had not experienced a single day of food shortage ever since I had left the rest of the group.
That was the least strange happening though.
After a few weeks of wandering in the woods, I started to notice that, sometimes, at the brink of dusk, I could see a red thread floating in the air, wriggling, worming its way between the trees, with no discernible beginning or end. I had thought many times of following the thread, but after consulting it with the Daemon, he had dissuaded me from taking that course of action. Our priority was to reunite with the rest of the group.
As time went on, the red thread started sporadically appearing throughout the day, wriggling in front of me for a few seconds and then, as if to taunt me, rising into the threetops and dissapearing, escaping my reach.
Now it had even begun to appear in my dreams, which was a clear sign to me that we had to follow it.
"Im telling you, it is now even appearing in my dreams, there has to be a connection between it and the rest of the oddities happening in this forest"
*This much time alone in the woods has certainly taken its toll on your sanity... There is no thread and you are delusional*
"Fine, want to argue, then lets argue. How do you explain the abundance of edible seeds and plants?"
*You are not the only inhabitant of the forest, animals benefit from the same seeds you do*
"What animals? Have you seen just one mouse in the past weeks? I certainly have not"
*Taking into account that you are seeing the nonexistent I would not dismiss the idea of you going partially blind..."
"What animals have you encountered?"
*None, I grant you that point, which still does not in any way prove that there is a living thread trying to direct you somewhere*
"What do we have to lose? We have been aimlessly wandering the forest for way too long, we may as well try something new."
*I have been trying to guide us the best I can*
"I know and I appreciate it, but it has yielded no results as of now"
*...*
"We have absolutely nothing to lose by following the thread."
*Fine.*
That night we silently sat around the campfire, inmersed in our thoughts and fears regarding the next day and the implications following the red thread might have. Unknown origin, unknown destination, not so different to the way of live we had experienced, yet at the same time a whole new challenge and range of opportunity for us.
Little was said that night, little was needed to be said. We knew each other well enough to make that silence a confortable one.
Starting with the bizarre abundance of edible seeds and plants growing on the seemingly infertile soil. I had not experienced a single day of food shortage ever since I had left the rest of the group.
That was the least strange happening though.
After a few weeks of wandering in the woods, I started to notice that, sometimes, at the brink of dusk, I could see a red thread floating in the air, wriggling, worming its way between the trees, with no discernible beginning or end. I had thought many times of following the thread, but after consulting it with the Daemon, he had dissuaded me from taking that course of action. Our priority was to reunite with the rest of the group.
As time went on, the red thread started sporadically appearing throughout the day, wriggling in front of me for a few seconds and then, as if to taunt me, rising into the threetops and dissapearing, escaping my reach.
Now it had even begun to appear in my dreams, which was a clear sign to me that we had to follow it.
"Im telling you, it is now even appearing in my dreams, there has to be a connection between it and the rest of the oddities happening in this forest"
*This much time alone in the woods has certainly taken its toll on your sanity... There is no thread and you are delusional*
"Fine, want to argue, then lets argue. How do you explain the abundance of edible seeds and plants?"
*You are not the only inhabitant of the forest, animals benefit from the same seeds you do*
"What animals? Have you seen just one mouse in the past weeks? I certainly have not"
*Taking into account that you are seeing the nonexistent I would not dismiss the idea of you going partially blind..."
"What animals have you encountered?"
*None, I grant you that point, which still does not in any way prove that there is a living thread trying to direct you somewhere*
"What do we have to lose? We have been aimlessly wandering the forest for way too long, we may as well try something new."
*I have been trying to guide us the best I can*
"I know and I appreciate it, but it has yielded no results as of now"
*...*
"We have absolutely nothing to lose by following the thread."
*Fine.*
That night we silently sat around the campfire, inmersed in our thoughts and fears regarding the next day and the implications following the red thread might have. Unknown origin, unknown destination, not so different to the way of live we had experienced, yet at the same time a whole new challenge and range of opportunity for us.
Little was said that night, little was needed to be said. We knew each other well enough to make that silence a confortable one.
3/2/16
The Seeds of Hope
The weather was mild in this part of the forest and thin rays of sunshine poured through the highest branches of the canopy.
The daemon dissapeared to look for whatever it is it eats and i made just the same.
I decided that i would walk in the direction we had to move so that i wasted as little time as possible looking for nourishment.
After 5 minutes of walking i came across a small bush of salvia hispanica.
I had absolutely no idea why i knew the name or properties of the plant, but i did.
I gathered some seeds and ate them, they would provide me with the energy i needed for the journey.
I could not pass up this opportunity, so i ripped my left sleeve off and improvised a small pouch that i filled with as many seeds as i could so i could replenish my energy on the go during the day.
Once i was done i continued walking.
The daemon was nowhere to be found, but i knew that he would find me once he was done, he had a better sensory perception than i did, so he would certainly find me once he was done doing whatever he was doing.
Walking and getting out of the forest was the top priority
...
Time passed, the sun was lazily making its way towards the horizon when the daemon appeared, i just aknowledged its presence and kept walking.
*You ok?*
"Fine, walking"
*Not going to ask where i have been?*
"Your business"
*Fair enough*
We kept walking until the sun had set, made camp, and rested for the night.
The daemon dissapeared to look for whatever it is it eats and i made just the same.
I decided that i would walk in the direction we had to move so that i wasted as little time as possible looking for nourishment.
After 5 minutes of walking i came across a small bush of salvia hispanica.
I had absolutely no idea why i knew the name or properties of the plant, but i did.
I gathered some seeds and ate them, they would provide me with the energy i needed for the journey.
I could not pass up this opportunity, so i ripped my left sleeve off and improvised a small pouch that i filled with as many seeds as i could so i could replenish my energy on the go during the day.
Once i was done i continued walking.
The daemon was nowhere to be found, but i knew that he would find me once he was done, he had a better sensory perception than i did, so he would certainly find me once he was done doing whatever he was doing.
Walking and getting out of the forest was the top priority
...
Time passed, the sun was lazily making its way towards the horizon when the daemon appeared, i just aknowledged its presence and kept walking.
*You ok?*
"Fine, walking"
*Not going to ask where i have been?*
"Your business"
*Fair enough*
We kept walking until the sun had set, made camp, and rested for the night.
22/1/16
From Dusk Till Dawn
We began searching the area for some sort of shelter that we might use for the night.
It was probably due to my exhaustion and the previous visions, but i could have sworn that i saw her, the ghost, speeding from tree to tree, hiding from my sight.
There was no way it could have been her, no way...
We found a cave that we could use as a shelter not too far away from the tree.
Each found a spot and made himself comfortable.
I wasnt sure if i would be able to sleep that night either, but i wished with all my might for it to happen.
I watched the dropplets of water travel down the wall of the cave...
Without even noticing, i fell asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night, startled, heart pounding, as if i had had a nightmare, yet i could not recall it. I looked around just in case something was off, but there were no signs that indicated that i should fear for our integrity. The daemon quietly slept in its corner and breathed steady and peacefuly.
I returned to my sleeping position, but this time sleeping would prove more difficult than before.
I tumbled, turned and tried different positions that might provide me with the slumber i needed, but neither my body nor my mind felt comfortable with the idea of returning to dreamland.
Then it came to me.
An idea.
Sort of a gut feeling attached to a memory that was surfacing in my head.
I remembered that she once told me that she had some sort of extrasensory perception, a psychic power of sorts, a sensibility that went beyond my five senses.
Without thinking about it i placed my right palm on my forehead, bent my thumb, ring, and baby finger and concentratet on sending a message that i hoped would reach her.
I stayed like that probably for a long period of time, concentrating on the message that i wanted to convey and placing my faith in it reaching my intended recipient.
Once i thought it had been enough, i inmediately found solace in my slumber one more time with no difficulty, as if my previous action had triggered my sleep.
...
*Time to move* the daemon told me as he nudged my body with its muzzle *we have to find something to break our fast and continue our travel*
I nodded obediently and made my way out of the cave.
It was probably due to my exhaustion and the previous visions, but i could have sworn that i saw her, the ghost, speeding from tree to tree, hiding from my sight.
There was no way it could have been her, no way...
We found a cave that we could use as a shelter not too far away from the tree.
Each found a spot and made himself comfortable.
I wasnt sure if i would be able to sleep that night either, but i wished with all my might for it to happen.
I watched the dropplets of water travel down the wall of the cave...
Without even noticing, i fell asleep.
I woke up in the middle of the night, startled, heart pounding, as if i had had a nightmare, yet i could not recall it. I looked around just in case something was off, but there were no signs that indicated that i should fear for our integrity. The daemon quietly slept in its corner and breathed steady and peacefuly.
I returned to my sleeping position, but this time sleeping would prove more difficult than before.
I tumbled, turned and tried different positions that might provide me with the slumber i needed, but neither my body nor my mind felt comfortable with the idea of returning to dreamland.
Then it came to me.
An idea.
Sort of a gut feeling attached to a memory that was surfacing in my head.
I remembered that she once told me that she had some sort of extrasensory perception, a psychic power of sorts, a sensibility that went beyond my five senses.
Without thinking about it i placed my right palm on my forehead, bent my thumb, ring, and baby finger and concentratet on sending a message that i hoped would reach her.
I stayed like that probably for a long period of time, concentrating on the message that i wanted to convey and placing my faith in it reaching my intended recipient.
Once i thought it had been enough, i inmediately found solace in my slumber one more time with no difficulty, as if my previous action had triggered my sleep.
...
*Time to move* the daemon told me as he nudged my body with its muzzle *we have to find something to break our fast and continue our travel*
I nodded obediently and made my way out of the cave.
20/1/16
Descension
I turned my head to gauge the size of the forest.
How could i have not seen it from the wasteland, it as enourmous.
As far as my eyes could see there was forest all around, expanding like a green ocean on the surface.
I turned my whole body around to get the view of the other side.
There!
The wasteland started almost at the edge of my range of sight.
It was far far away... it would take days to get just to the edge of the forest...
How long had i run, it made little sense to me.
It was not relevant though, i had to make my way down to inform the daemon.
Then i made the mistake that nobody but me would have done in my situation:
i looked down.
My stomach dropped to my feet and i started to sweat profusely.
I was affraid of heights...
My head started to spin and i felt a knot in the pit of my stomach.
I grabbed to the thin trunk for dear life.
Why had i looked down, it was a mistake i knew i should have never made and yet i made it, how could i have been so stupid?
I held even tighter as i tried to steady my breathing and my heart, i closed my eyes as to shut my mind out of the world around me.
A small amount of bile made its way up my esophagus and ended in my mouth, i spat it out and opened my eyes once again.
I had to get down as soon as possible by my own will or i will leap down against it.
Going up had been easy, just grab a branch and get the rest of the body up there, getting down was a whole different story...
I slowly sat on the branch, careful not to lose my balance or slip to my death.
I hugged the branch tightly and started to turn my body around it as to end up face up so i could descend on the next branch. It had seemed easy enough in my mind yet my body had difficulty following my brains orders.
One i was positioned as i wanted, i let my legs go of the branch. My abs were not strong enough to hold the weight of my legs and they jerked down pulled by gravity straining my arms and making me desperately fight to not let go.
I dangled for a bit until i regained balance and then slowly let my arms slip around the branch so my feet could get contact with the next branch.
Left foot down, right foot down, and left foot slipped.
The world slowed down around me. I saw my foot slipping, i sensed my body skewing, my muscles tensing and my heart racing. As my body was almost horizontal on the branch i made an effort to grab the branch with my arms so i could avoid plummeting to what would surely be my death.
I managed to barely hold on but it wasnt enough, my body was still slipping, i dug my nails in the bark with the hope that it would suffice.
Lady luck favors those who try, or so the saying goes.
It worked, i was able to stop myself from falling at the expense of a nail that had left my finger, not able to withstand the strain that i had put on it.
The world returned to its normal speed.
I was yet again gasping for air, feet dangling, heart racing, muscles burning.
"I have to do it... i cant, i wont give up... not for me, for them..."
Once i had steadied my breathing i colleceted my thoughts and my strenght and continued my descent.
Dusk had already covered the land once i set foot on the ground.
"Its this way" i told the daemon while pointing at the right direction
*Good, lets find shelter for the night, we will resume on the morrow*
How could i have not seen it from the wasteland, it as enourmous.
As far as my eyes could see there was forest all around, expanding like a green ocean on the surface.
I turned my whole body around to get the view of the other side.
There!
The wasteland started almost at the edge of my range of sight.
It was far far away... it would take days to get just to the edge of the forest...
How long had i run, it made little sense to me.
It was not relevant though, i had to make my way down to inform the daemon.
Then i made the mistake that nobody but me would have done in my situation:
i looked down.
My stomach dropped to my feet and i started to sweat profusely.
I was affraid of heights...
My head started to spin and i felt a knot in the pit of my stomach.
I grabbed to the thin trunk for dear life.
Why had i looked down, it was a mistake i knew i should have never made and yet i made it, how could i have been so stupid?
I held even tighter as i tried to steady my breathing and my heart, i closed my eyes as to shut my mind out of the world around me.
A small amount of bile made its way up my esophagus and ended in my mouth, i spat it out and opened my eyes once again.
I had to get down as soon as possible by my own will or i will leap down against it.
Going up had been easy, just grab a branch and get the rest of the body up there, getting down was a whole different story...
I slowly sat on the branch, careful not to lose my balance or slip to my death.
I hugged the branch tightly and started to turn my body around it as to end up face up so i could descend on the next branch. It had seemed easy enough in my mind yet my body had difficulty following my brains orders.
One i was positioned as i wanted, i let my legs go of the branch. My abs were not strong enough to hold the weight of my legs and they jerked down pulled by gravity straining my arms and making me desperately fight to not let go.
I dangled for a bit until i regained balance and then slowly let my arms slip around the branch so my feet could get contact with the next branch.
Left foot down, right foot down, and left foot slipped.
The world slowed down around me. I saw my foot slipping, i sensed my body skewing, my muscles tensing and my heart racing. As my body was almost horizontal on the branch i made an effort to grab the branch with my arms so i could avoid plummeting to what would surely be my death.
I managed to barely hold on but it wasnt enough, my body was still slipping, i dug my nails in the bark with the hope that it would suffice.
Lady luck favors those who try, or so the saying goes.
It worked, i was able to stop myself from falling at the expense of a nail that had left my finger, not able to withstand the strain that i had put on it.
The world returned to its normal speed.
I was yet again gasping for air, feet dangling, heart racing, muscles burning.
"I have to do it... i cant, i wont give up... not for me, for them..."
Once i had steadied my breathing i colleceted my thoughts and my strenght and continued my descent.
Dusk had already covered the land once i set foot on the ground.
"Its this way" i told the daemon while pointing at the right direction
*Good, lets find shelter for the night, we will resume on the morrow*
18/1/16
Ascension
There it was, a tree i could probably climb, though given my current condition it was a miracle if i was able to even get to the first half of the trees height.
I couldnt be deterred by that, i had to try, i owed that much to the daemon.
I grabbed the first branch and pulled myself up.
So far so good.
I hugged the trunk and looked for the next branch.
Right after finding it, a vision flooded my mind:
Malcom and the ghost chased by the Banshees, Malcom, in a futile act, wasting his ammo against the otherwordly beings.
I regained my sense of self as a stinging pain took over my senses.
I had probably had too many blackberries, my stomach was not ready for it.
I stretched my arm towards the next branch and had to hold in a cry of pain. Moving made the pain in my stomach worse.
I braced for the next painful blow as i stretched my other arm and my leg to get a better footing.
As i hurled myself up i let out a scream of pain and strain.
I lost consciousnes for the briefest moment and was able to again get a hold of the trunk just as i was about to lose my balance.
Not even one fifth up the height of the tree and i was already about to give in to the pain.
Another vision flooded my mind:
Fireworks over a small lake that had a willow pouring its branches into it.
Thank goodness my muscles had tensed while i was hallucinating, but where was that, i couldnt remember having ever seen that place yet alone been near it.
I once again shook my head and focused what little strenght i had to prepare for the next leap.
Every time i got on a new branch, my mind was invaded by visions:
A large space vessel making its way from a mechanical planet
A sheet of paper slowly being filled by and invisible hand with drawings of people struggling
A guitar playing songs by itself on a stage to a nonexistent audience
A Lioness leaving her cubs alone in the wild to bever return
A flood destroying a small village
A winged warrior slaughtering his enemies with a large sword
and finally
A tortured soul begging for forgiveness from the depths of hell
I had made it... i was on the top and able to see the horizon...
I couldnt be deterred by that, i had to try, i owed that much to the daemon.
I grabbed the first branch and pulled myself up.
So far so good.
I hugged the trunk and looked for the next branch.
Right after finding it, a vision flooded my mind:
Malcom and the ghost chased by the Banshees, Malcom, in a futile act, wasting his ammo against the otherwordly beings.
I regained my sense of self as a stinging pain took over my senses.
I had probably had too many blackberries, my stomach was not ready for it.
I stretched my arm towards the next branch and had to hold in a cry of pain. Moving made the pain in my stomach worse.
I braced for the next painful blow as i stretched my other arm and my leg to get a better footing.
As i hurled myself up i let out a scream of pain and strain.
I lost consciousnes for the briefest moment and was able to again get a hold of the trunk just as i was about to lose my balance.
Not even one fifth up the height of the tree and i was already about to give in to the pain.
Another vision flooded my mind:
Fireworks over a small lake that had a willow pouring its branches into it.
Thank goodness my muscles had tensed while i was hallucinating, but where was that, i couldnt remember having ever seen that place yet alone been near it.
I once again shook my head and focused what little strenght i had to prepare for the next leap.
Every time i got on a new branch, my mind was invaded by visions:
A large space vessel making its way from a mechanical planet
A sheet of paper slowly being filled by and invisible hand with drawings of people struggling
A guitar playing songs by itself on a stage to a nonexistent audience
A Lioness leaving her cubs alone in the wild to bever return
A flood destroying a small village
A winged warrior slaughtering his enemies with a large sword
and finally
A tortured soul begging for forgiveness from the depths of hell
I had made it... i was on the top and able to see the horizon...
15/1/16
Day()Break
I got little sleep and it was plagued with nightmares, yet what had i expected? Was i worthy of something better than that? I knew i wasnt.
Once dawn started dripping into the cave the daemon looked at me, trying to hide his disgust, and signaled with his head for me to get out of the cave.
I stood up, the morning dew that had collected on my clothes seeped in and made the wet clothes stick to my already cold body, moving would get rid of that, so i started walking right away.
Once i left the cave i carefully examined the surroundings.
A forest, lush, full of life...
How had i ended up here? Nowhere near the abandoned dust town had i been able to muster a forest this size, how long had i been running?
*Fuggin stop daydreaming and get to walking, only hell knows how far we have strode from the right path...*
I nodded and started walking.
We walked in silence and with no particular sense of where we were headed to, but the most important thing for now was to keep walking no matter where. The goal was to get out of the forest and there was only one way of achieving it.
Hours passed of silent walking. My stomach complained from time to time as i had not had any food since the day before, but i dared not ask the daemon for a rest.
Only once his rumbling stomach was too much to endure even for it did we stop.
*If you want to eat, i recommend you look for something edible, for i will not be providing you with any.* it said before taking off.
I was left in the middle of the forest, mouth wide open, stomach rumbling, feet hurting... but i had to do something. Doing nothing would certainly not feed me.
I started to look for berries or what i thought were edible plants.
After what seemed like an eternity searching i stumbled upon some wild blackberries.
I picked them from the bush carefully as to not hurt myself with the thorns, which i could not avoid in the end.
Once i was done my hands were stained red both from the blackberry juice and my own blood.
The daemon appeared behind me, looked at my hands, and then nodded once again.
We continued walking...
Why had i run away? Was i really that much of a coward but had had no opportunity to show it?
I hated it... I hated that i had run away... i hated that i had betrayed my friends when they need me, i hated that i had betrayed myself and the daemon...
*Stop with the self loathing, you will get plenty of that in your dreams from now on anyway*
I looked at him, it looked back.
*Focus on getting out of here, the energy you are spending in those pointless thoughts is wasted, better use it for something productive*
I nodded and continued walking.
What could i think about right now that would help me get out of here?
We had no idea of where we were nor did we know where to go to get out of the forest.
We would need some kind of guidance, some sort of reference point.
It struck me, if i climbed one of those trees, i would be able to see in which direction the forest transitioned into the wasteland.
"I have an idea..." i said while turning towards the daemon
*Then put it to action*
"you havent even heard w..."
*I already know, i have known for some time, now shut up and do it*
"But how..."
I shook my head and started looking for a tree to climb.
Once dawn started dripping into the cave the daemon looked at me, trying to hide his disgust, and signaled with his head for me to get out of the cave.
I stood up, the morning dew that had collected on my clothes seeped in and made the wet clothes stick to my already cold body, moving would get rid of that, so i started walking right away.
Once i left the cave i carefully examined the surroundings.
A forest, lush, full of life...
How had i ended up here? Nowhere near the abandoned dust town had i been able to muster a forest this size, how long had i been running?
*Fuggin stop daydreaming and get to walking, only hell knows how far we have strode from the right path...*
I nodded and started walking.
We walked in silence and with no particular sense of where we were headed to, but the most important thing for now was to keep walking no matter where. The goal was to get out of the forest and there was only one way of achieving it.
Hours passed of silent walking. My stomach complained from time to time as i had not had any food since the day before, but i dared not ask the daemon for a rest.
Only once his rumbling stomach was too much to endure even for it did we stop.
*If you want to eat, i recommend you look for something edible, for i will not be providing you with any.* it said before taking off.
I was left in the middle of the forest, mouth wide open, stomach rumbling, feet hurting... but i had to do something. Doing nothing would certainly not feed me.
I started to look for berries or what i thought were edible plants.
After what seemed like an eternity searching i stumbled upon some wild blackberries.
I picked them from the bush carefully as to not hurt myself with the thorns, which i could not avoid in the end.
Once i was done my hands were stained red both from the blackberry juice and my own blood.
The daemon appeared behind me, looked at my hands, and then nodded once again.
We continued walking...
Why had i run away? Was i really that much of a coward but had had no opportunity to show it?
I hated it... I hated that i had run away... i hated that i had betrayed my friends when they need me, i hated that i had betrayed myself and the daemon...
*Stop with the self loathing, you will get plenty of that in your dreams from now on anyway*
I looked at him, it looked back.
*Focus on getting out of here, the energy you are spending in those pointless thoughts is wasted, better use it for something productive*
I nodded and continued walking.
What could i think about right now that would help me get out of here?
We had no idea of where we were nor did we know where to go to get out of the forest.
We would need some kind of guidance, some sort of reference point.
It struck me, if i climbed one of those trees, i would be able to see in which direction the forest transitioned into the wasteland.
"I have an idea..." i said while turning towards the daemon
*Then put it to action*
"you havent even heard w..."
*I already know, i have known for some time, now shut up and do it*
"But how..."
I shook my head and started looking for a tree to climb.
13/1/16
The Sch(e)ism
Everything happend too fast for my brain to really comprehend what was going on...
I catched my breath and focused on makinf sense of my surroundings.
I was in a cave of sorts, dark, humid, water running down one of the walls, the daemon was in a corner wounded, shivering, gasping desperately for air as was I.
I was sitting against a wall, my back drenched both with my sweat and the water dropplets that had collected on the surface.
"Where... are we...?" I managed to say
*Dont you... remember?* the daemon wheezed
"I...no... not really..."
*You are even dumber than I thought then...*
"..."
*Really? Nothing? Make an effort to remember your and my cowardice...*
"Cowardice...?"
I let my head fall on my chest and focused onn remembering how i had gotten to this place and why it was only the daemon and me. Where were Malcom and the ghost? Why werent they with us or better, why werent we with them?
The daemon scratched his claw on the rocky surface making a very wail-like strident sound.
Banshees...
Slowly the fog in my mind cleared and i started to remember.
We were all about to distract the banshees so we could continue our journey, i had seen a bottle and we were silently discussing how to execute the distraction.
I had volunteered to run and fetch the bottle and then throw it as far as i could so the banshees would go investigate the sound.
I remembered running to the middle of the road, picking up the bottle and facing in the direction of the banshees to throw it... but one had turned around while i was running and was getting ready lo lounge at me.
I stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do, thee fear had congealed in my veins rendering me completely inmobile.
I remember hearing Malcom screaming for me to get a grip and run, i remember the daemon transforming itself yet again for a new confrontation, i remember suddely being able to move and i remember running like i had never ran in my life.
From then on it was blurs of yellow and green and blue.
Then everything went black and i returned to myself in the cave.
"I...ran away..."
*You left them behind, yes... We left them behind, though not on my own accord*
"I... betrayed them... I am... a coward"
*Yes... that you are you fuggin idiot*
A solitary tear embarked on a journey down my grubby face.
*Dont you dare cry... not after what you have done... you could have avoided this, you could have fought, you could have stayed, but you didnt*
"Why... did you not stay with them...?"
*Im bound to you, remember?!* it roared as it stood up
It slowly made its way towards me
*My curse is to be alongside you for as long as you live no matter how idiotic your actions. I have to stay with you no matter how flawed you are and it is something only i must endure, for others are not bound to you as i am*
It was now in front of me. It stood on its hindlegs and pounded the wall with its paws only centimeters away from my face.
*And i swear, if you ever pull one of these again, i will make sure you never repeat that mistake, are we clear?* he whispered, its snout milimeters away from my nose.
I could both see and feel its breath on me.
"Yes... clear..." i managed to answer
*Good* it receded and coiled in one side of the cave *Rest for now and fugging think about the atrocity you have just commited, as soon as the sun raises we are out of here to look for them. And pray we do find them... and they are half as happy to see you as you will be of seeing them*
I quietly nodded and also slumped on the cave floor to try to get some rest that i knew i would not find in my dreams...
I catched my breath and focused on makinf sense of my surroundings.
I was in a cave of sorts, dark, humid, water running down one of the walls, the daemon was in a corner wounded, shivering, gasping desperately for air as was I.
I was sitting against a wall, my back drenched both with my sweat and the water dropplets that had collected on the surface.
"Where... are we...?" I managed to say
*Dont you... remember?* the daemon wheezed
"I...no... not really..."
*You are even dumber than I thought then...*
"..."
*Really? Nothing? Make an effort to remember your and my cowardice...*
"Cowardice...?"
I let my head fall on my chest and focused onn remembering how i had gotten to this place and why it was only the daemon and me. Where were Malcom and the ghost? Why werent they with us or better, why werent we with them?
The daemon scratched his claw on the rocky surface making a very wail-like strident sound.
Banshees...
Slowly the fog in my mind cleared and i started to remember.
We were all about to distract the banshees so we could continue our journey, i had seen a bottle and we were silently discussing how to execute the distraction.
I had volunteered to run and fetch the bottle and then throw it as far as i could so the banshees would go investigate the sound.
I remembered running to the middle of the road, picking up the bottle and facing in the direction of the banshees to throw it... but one had turned around while i was running and was getting ready lo lounge at me.
I stood there, frozen, not knowing what to do, thee fear had congealed in my veins rendering me completely inmobile.
I remember hearing Malcom screaming for me to get a grip and run, i remember the daemon transforming itself yet again for a new confrontation, i remember suddely being able to move and i remember running like i had never ran in my life.
From then on it was blurs of yellow and green and blue.
Then everything went black and i returned to myself in the cave.
"I...ran away..."
*You left them behind, yes... We left them behind, though not on my own accord*
"I... betrayed them... I am... a coward"
*Yes... that you are you fuggin idiot*
A solitary tear embarked on a journey down my grubby face.
*Dont you dare cry... not after what you have done... you could have avoided this, you could have fought, you could have stayed, but you didnt*
"Why... did you not stay with them...?"
*Im bound to you, remember?!* it roared as it stood up
It slowly made its way towards me
*My curse is to be alongside you for as long as you live no matter how idiotic your actions. I have to stay with you no matter how flawed you are and it is something only i must endure, for others are not bound to you as i am*
It was now in front of me. It stood on its hindlegs and pounded the wall with its paws only centimeters away from my face.
*And i swear, if you ever pull one of these again, i will make sure you never repeat that mistake, are we clear?* he whispered, its snout milimeters away from my nose.
I could both see and feel its breath on me.
"Yes... clear..." i managed to answer
*Good* it receded and coiled in one side of the cave *Rest for now and fugging think about the atrocity you have just commited, as soon as the sun raises we are out of here to look for them. And pray we do find them... and they are half as happy to see you as you will be of seeing them*
I quietly nodded and also slumped on the cave floor to try to get some rest that i knew i would not find in my dreams...
16/11/15
One step forward
"K, now everyone follow me 'n dont make no noise"
Malcom slowly opened the door and quickly glanced around to see if there was any danger in our proximity.
"Coast is clear, move it"
Without wasting a second we scurried out of the building and followed Malcom into the abandoned streets of the town.
The sun shrouded by a thin layer of dust, the mild temperature and the subtle breeze gave the scene a sense of eerie.
Malcom raised his right fist, turned around, signaled that there were two banshees behind the left corner of the building ahead and waited for us to catch up.
"We gotta find a way 'round, no way we takin' those witches with no weapons"
We nodded silently and awaited instructions.
Malcom had spent quite some time in the wastes and thus was deemed most suitable to filll the role of the leader of our small group.
You could have almost asserted we were a small freak show troupè:
a cowboy, an amnesiac, a daemon and a ghost.
My mind wandered off for a bit and fantasized about our success on the road and all the shows we could arrange...
"No day dreamin'" Malcom roughly nudged my arm "Plenty adventure in the real world"
And he was not mistaken, the banshees were prowling on the streets searching for their next victim, which could eventually be us were we not careful enough to evade them.
I casually looked around and caught a glimpse of a glass bottle not too far away from our position.
I signalled Malcom about the whereabouts of the bottle and he nodded as soon as he had seen it.
"We could use it to distract 'em, but gettin' it is trouble itself" he whispered.
Truth is, the bottle was almost in the middle of a crossroad and one of the roads converging there was the one the banshees were patrolling..
Malcom slowly opened the door and quickly glanced around to see if there was any danger in our proximity.
"Coast is clear, move it"
Without wasting a second we scurried out of the building and followed Malcom into the abandoned streets of the town.
The sun shrouded by a thin layer of dust, the mild temperature and the subtle breeze gave the scene a sense of eerie.
Malcom raised his right fist, turned around, signaled that there were two banshees behind the left corner of the building ahead and waited for us to catch up.
"We gotta find a way 'round, no way we takin' those witches with no weapons"
We nodded silently and awaited instructions.
Malcom had spent quite some time in the wastes and thus was deemed most suitable to filll the role of the leader of our small group.
You could have almost asserted we were a small freak show troupè:
a cowboy, an amnesiac, a daemon and a ghost.
My mind wandered off for a bit and fantasized about our success on the road and all the shows we could arrange...
"No day dreamin'" Malcom roughly nudged my arm "Plenty adventure in the real world"
And he was not mistaken, the banshees were prowling on the streets searching for their next victim, which could eventually be us were we not careful enough to evade them.
I casually looked around and caught a glimpse of a glass bottle not too far away from our position.
I signalled Malcom about the whereabouts of the bottle and he nodded as soon as he had seen it.
"We could use it to distract 'em, but gettin' it is trouble itself" he whispered.
Truth is, the bottle was almost in the middle of a crossroad and one of the roads converging there was the one the banshees were patrolling..
11/5/15
Retrospective
It is funny to look back sometimes, see what you had to do to get to where you are now.
I try to avoid that as it brings forth one too many bad memories, but still I can't refrain from doing so.
Looking back, it all makes sense, like a little line of pebbles that stretch from the start of your journey to your present.
But back in the day it all seemed confusing, it all seemed strange, it all seemed... alien.
I still feel alienated from time to time, i look at the pebbles and some dont seem to follow the pattern the others do, yet they hold their rightful place firmly as to confirm that they have been placed there for a reason.
I look back at all the white pages i filled with my thoughts, my feelings, it all makes sense, it enlightens me.
Lost as I was in myself, i could have never imagined a way out of there, yet here i am:
Walking the street as any other man, enjoying the simple things in life, the things that truly give meaning to it, still writting, still fighting, still sharing, for sharing is what started this journey, and sharing it will end.
For now... I dare you to find me before i tear down the fabric of this distopia.
Best of luck to you in your journey
...
"He cant be serious, can he?"
"How should I know?!"
"I mean... there is absolutely no way for him to be here, is there?"
"After all I have read, I can most certainly say I am ready to believe anything at this point. Think about it: how did his writtings get here in the first place?"
"I assume the police caught wind of them and decided to lock them up so noone could get acces to them"
"What if... What if he locked them inside here on purpose?"
"Huh?!"
"Yes, what if he locked them here on purpose so that nobody besides people like us would find it?"
"Hm.... never thought of that"
"Maybe he really is here..."
A rattling sound startled them both.
"It cant be..."
"I..."
A mouse quickly made its way into the gutter.
"Just a mouse..."
"I almost got a heart attack..."
A voice behind them startled them for a second time
"I think the best time to have one would be right about now!"
They quickly turned around
I try to avoid that as it brings forth one too many bad memories, but still I can't refrain from doing so.
Looking back, it all makes sense, like a little line of pebbles that stretch from the start of your journey to your present.
But back in the day it all seemed confusing, it all seemed strange, it all seemed... alien.
I still feel alienated from time to time, i look at the pebbles and some dont seem to follow the pattern the others do, yet they hold their rightful place firmly as to confirm that they have been placed there for a reason.
I look back at all the white pages i filled with my thoughts, my feelings, it all makes sense, it enlightens me.
Lost as I was in myself, i could have never imagined a way out of there, yet here i am:
Walking the street as any other man, enjoying the simple things in life, the things that truly give meaning to it, still writting, still fighting, still sharing, for sharing is what started this journey, and sharing it will end.
For now... I dare you to find me before i tear down the fabric of this distopia.
Best of luck to you in your journey
...
"He cant be serious, can he?"
"How should I know?!"
"I mean... there is absolutely no way for him to be here, is there?"
"After all I have read, I can most certainly say I am ready to believe anything at this point. Think about it: how did his writtings get here in the first place?"
"I assume the police caught wind of them and decided to lock them up so noone could get acces to them"
"What if... What if he locked them inside here on purpose?"
"Huh?!"
"Yes, what if he locked them here on purpose so that nobody besides people like us would find it?"
"Hm.... never thought of that"
"Maybe he really is here..."
A rattling sound startled them both.
"It cant be..."
"I..."
A mouse quickly made its way into the gutter.
"Just a mouse..."
"I almost got a heart attack..."
A voice behind them startled them for a second time
"I think the best time to have one would be right about now!"
They quickly turned around
22/11/14
Meeting strangers
The wooden floor welcomed me with a dry *thud* as my arms gave in under the weight of my body.
After a few seconds I gathered what little thoughts I had and looked at the direction from which the voice had greeted me.
It was a cowboy, at least he looked like one.
Hat, boots, leather pants...
He sat up from the rocking chair and pulled me on my feet.
"Sure been out cold fer a while, aint ya?"
"I... I dont know, how long has it been?"
"Well according to my watch id say about 2 n half days"
I sighed.
"Coulda been worse, dont ye fret a bit"
He pushed me softly towards the chair and made sure i got a good grip on it before letting go.
"Thanks"
"Glad to help. So i was wondering, what are ya doin in a place like this?"
"I... I dont think you would believe me if i told you..."
"Sonny, I have seen that friend of yours turn into at least 3 different animals in t' past days 'n considering the banshees that almost caught you 'n all the crazy shit goin on out there, I can 'sure you that i'd believe most anything you tell me."
"Well I... have spent the past year or so imprisoned in a dark room. The room is inside a subterranean bunker-like building not too far away from here."
"Well I be damned, thats a story I wasnt expectin"
"Yeah... I would find it hard to believe had i not experienced it myself. I had been locked away from the world. Still i am not sure this is the same world i remember from when i was free"
"The world 'as changed, thats fer damn sure... lots of thins' goin' on... the banshees fer example, aint been here for too long"
"I feel like i have been... I dont know... transported in time and space ir something similar. I dont seem to get the picture of this world."
"Dont fret, nobody does. We are all souls strugglin' to stay alive."
"Could you tell me how things were before?"
" 'Fore when, sonny?"
"I dont know, I guess before everything went to hell"
"This place has always been hell, but i get where ya gettin' at"
"Keep it quiet you two, sleeping, recovering from near-death injuries, daemon here"
"Sorry, we will go outside"
"Or better yet well get ya upstairs to catch some fresh air"
He helped me get up the chair and up the stairs to the balcony.
After a few seconds I gathered what little thoughts I had and looked at the direction from which the voice had greeted me.
It was a cowboy, at least he looked like one.
Hat, boots, leather pants...
He sat up from the rocking chair and pulled me on my feet.
"Sure been out cold fer a while, aint ya?"
"I... I dont know, how long has it been?"
"Well according to my watch id say about 2 n half days"
I sighed.
"Coulda been worse, dont ye fret a bit"
He pushed me softly towards the chair and made sure i got a good grip on it before letting go.
"Thanks"
"Glad to help. So i was wondering, what are ya doin in a place like this?"
"I... I dont think you would believe me if i told you..."
"Sonny, I have seen that friend of yours turn into at least 3 different animals in t' past days 'n considering the banshees that almost caught you 'n all the crazy shit goin on out there, I can 'sure you that i'd believe most anything you tell me."
"Well I... have spent the past year or so imprisoned in a dark room. The room is inside a subterranean bunker-like building not too far away from here."
"Well I be damned, thats a story I wasnt expectin"
"Yeah... I would find it hard to believe had i not experienced it myself. I had been locked away from the world. Still i am not sure this is the same world i remember from when i was free"
"The world 'as changed, thats fer damn sure... lots of thins' goin' on... the banshees fer example, aint been here for too long"
"I feel like i have been... I dont know... transported in time and space ir something similar. I dont seem to get the picture of this world."
"Dont fret, nobody does. We are all souls strugglin' to stay alive."
"Could you tell me how things were before?"
" 'Fore when, sonny?"
"I dont know, I guess before everything went to hell"
"This place has always been hell, but i get where ya gettin' at"
"Keep it quiet you two, sleeping, recovering from near-death injuries, daemon here"
"Sorry, we will go outside"
"Or better yet well get ya upstairs to catch some fresh air"
He helped me get up the chair and up the stairs to the balcony.
21/10/14
Renewal is a necessary evil
It took me a long time, but I was finally able to recover from the darkness in which I had fallen.
I was lucky though, I knew others had fallen and never recovered, others had been able to escape with a bruised body and a scarred mind.
I opened my eyes, the daemon was laying next to me, slowly yet steadily breathing, probably having a dreamless sleep.
She was nowhere to be found.
It did not surprise me though, unbeknownst to me was the time and thus I could not wonder wether it was normal for her to be gone or not. I put my hand on the daemon's head, he had retained his beast form from when he fought the banshees, and carefully petted his head. I'd have to thank him once he woke up.
My eyes got accustomed to the dim light and I could get a clear image of my surroundings.
Some time had passed, that was for sure, they had changed the arrangement of the furniture and barricaded the door, surely affraid of retribution.
I patted the daemon on the head and tried to get on my feet. My legs shook as I slowly put more weight on them. I stood on my feet, wobbly, insecure, but with the firm conviction that I had to regain control over my body and start doing something, anything.
The creeping feeling that I had been gone for too long was once again making itself confortable inside my mind. I could only hope that I had not been out more than a week, time was of little meaning while unconscious.
Inch b inch I made my way through the room, holding my hands out in front of me in case I were to trip. Turns out it was a great idea seeing as I lost my footing after I heard a strange voice saying:
"Glad yer awake pardner"
26/4/14
...and I was able to catch on
The world started spinning faster than I could bear once again.
Memories sped through my mind. I had to lay down once again to try and calm myself, but my heart was pumping too fast, my breathing was unbalanced, the little vision I had left blurred and faded to black.
I passed out just as she reached to me screaming and begging me to return.
I could not return, not now...
There are things I have to deal with in my deepest unconscious.
The thresher maw approaching us, there was the exit at the end of that corridor, but there was a huge jump, I would not be able to make it, I was too tired and even if I was at my best, I would not be able to.
I run, heart racing, lungs burning, muscles screaming in agony, I cant hear anything besides the sound of my own body, the blood running through my veins in the same fashion Im running through these corridors.
The end of the path is getting near, and it will be the end, one way or another.
Whatever happens at the cliff, it will be the end of an era and the beginning of another to me, wether I die or not will not affect this fact.
Do I want to die? NO!
Do I want to live? Hell yes!
Only a few meters remain, a recollection of the past months of imprisonment soar in front of my eyes, the darkness, the light bulb, writting, papers stacking in the corners of the room, getting new paper and pens by an unknown entity.
I would somehow miss these carefree times, but I knew I needed more than just pen and paper:
I wanted to see what was out there, write about it, tell to whomever might read this that my journey was an interesting and fulfilling one.
I wanted to live, heck, I wanted to feel the breeze on my skin, see a sunset, a sunrise, hear whatever there was to hear out there in the wild.
The cliff is one step away, whichever foot I set now will determine wether I will be able to make the jump or not... I have no time to think more than that, I am in the air already, trying to get to the other side...
Memories sped through my mind. I had to lay down once again to try and calm myself, but my heart was pumping too fast, my breathing was unbalanced, the little vision I had left blurred and faded to black.
I passed out just as she reached to me screaming and begging me to return.
I could not return, not now...
There are things I have to deal with in my deepest unconscious.
The thresher maw approaching us, there was the exit at the end of that corridor, but there was a huge jump, I would not be able to make it, I was too tired and even if I was at my best, I would not be able to.
I run, heart racing, lungs burning, muscles screaming in agony, I cant hear anything besides the sound of my own body, the blood running through my veins in the same fashion Im running through these corridors.
The end of the path is getting near, and it will be the end, one way or another.
Whatever happens at the cliff, it will be the end of an era and the beginning of another to me, wether I die or not will not affect this fact.
Do I want to die? NO!
Do I want to live? Hell yes!
Only a few meters remain, a recollection of the past months of imprisonment soar in front of my eyes, the darkness, the light bulb, writting, papers stacking in the corners of the room, getting new paper and pens by an unknown entity.
I would somehow miss these carefree times, but I knew I needed more than just pen and paper:
I wanted to see what was out there, write about it, tell to whomever might read this that my journey was an interesting and fulfilling one.
I wanted to live, heck, I wanted to feel the breeze on my skin, see a sunset, a sunrise, hear whatever there was to hear out there in the wild.
The cliff is one step away, whichever foot I set now will determine wether I will be able to make the jump or not... I have no time to think more than that, I am in the air already, trying to get to the other side...
4/2/14
Life went on without me...
She remained silent for a moment, as if pondering the words she was about to speak.
*I dont really know how to beginn with this tale, there is so much to tell...*
"I think we have plenty of time, you dont have to worry about that, take your time" - I calmly told her as I directed my gaze to the window.
The wasteland underwent no change from one day to the other, the horizon and the sun made the ilusion of slight change real.
*It is a little complicated and mysterious*
"I'm ready for whatever you have to tell me"
*I sure hope so* - she looked out of the window one last time and then saw me right in the eye.
*We waited for the hatch to open so we you could get out... but we had not quite thought about how much time it would take you to get there before the hatch closed yet again, so the problems started there, we had to use the tray to block the closing gate, which probably triggered some kind of alarm, which we did not notice at the time but found out later*
She stopped her narration and looked at me, as she saw that I had barely reacted to her telling, she continued.
*The nightmare began once we were outside of the room. It was a maze and we had no clue how to advance, any plans we made have made had no more use once we were confronted with the truth of the mission. We thought about following whatever device that had brought the tray to the room, for it was carried there somehow, there was nothing to be seen though, we later deduced that the alarm had made the devide either hide or self destruct. Clock was ticking and we needed to get out of there. We did not know if there was going to be any punishment for you for trying to escape, if someone or something would come out of the blue to either return you to your room or kill you on the spot.*
I had started sweating, each pearl made the fog in my mind diminish.
*I cant really tell how much time we spent wandering through the maze... but every second that passed made our anxiety grow as we could not fathom what would happen next. We were able to find what seemed the pathway to the exit, dont ask me how we did it, after so much wandering my memories also distort and deform at some point*
I could remember monotony, endless corridors, one corner after the other we looked around in search of any clue that could lead us to the exit...
*We were on our way as we heard the shrieking sound of the alarm and the guardian of the maze*
I had trouble swallowing as my memory was kind enough to make me remember just a bit of that scene.
*A mechanic thresher maw was at the end of the corridor quickly making its way towards us...*
*I dont really know how to beginn with this tale, there is so much to tell...*
"I think we have plenty of time, you dont have to worry about that, take your time" - I calmly told her as I directed my gaze to the window.
The wasteland underwent no change from one day to the other, the horizon and the sun made the ilusion of slight change real.
*It is a little complicated and mysterious*
"I'm ready for whatever you have to tell me"
*I sure hope so* - she looked out of the window one last time and then saw me right in the eye.
*We waited for the hatch to open so we you could get out... but we had not quite thought about how much time it would take you to get there before the hatch closed yet again, so the problems started there, we had to use the tray to block the closing gate, which probably triggered some kind of alarm, which we did not notice at the time but found out later*
She stopped her narration and looked at me, as she saw that I had barely reacted to her telling, she continued.
*The nightmare began once we were outside of the room. It was a maze and we had no clue how to advance, any plans we made have made had no more use once we were confronted with the truth of the mission. We thought about following whatever device that had brought the tray to the room, for it was carried there somehow, there was nothing to be seen though, we later deduced that the alarm had made the devide either hide or self destruct. Clock was ticking and we needed to get out of there. We did not know if there was going to be any punishment for you for trying to escape, if someone or something would come out of the blue to either return you to your room or kill you on the spot.*
I had started sweating, each pearl made the fog in my mind diminish.
*I cant really tell how much time we spent wandering through the maze... but every second that passed made our anxiety grow as we could not fathom what would happen next. We were able to find what seemed the pathway to the exit, dont ask me how we did it, after so much wandering my memories also distort and deform at some point*
I could remember monotony, endless corridors, one corner after the other we looked around in search of any clue that could lead us to the exit...
*We were on our way as we heard the shrieking sound of the alarm and the guardian of the maze*
I had trouble swallowing as my memory was kind enough to make me remember just a bit of that scene.
*A mechanic thresher maw was at the end of the corridor quickly making its way towards us...*
3/2/14
Kleid aus Rosen
I left everything behind...
My youth, my parents, even the man I was meant to marry...
Everything overwhelmed me, had me in its mercy, a tidal wave washing away my dreams and desires.
I had taken few decisions in my life, but this one I would take and follow through for once.
I ran as never before, streets flying by, corner after corner I turned, a blurr of emotions and memories coiled around my consciousness.
Thats what brought me to this particular house. Nothing special from the outside, but the inhabitant was a gifted individual: he painted on human skin.
As I stood in front of the house I called out:
Master! Master! Give me Roses, paint your roses on my young and uncorrupted skin!
Sting those roses into me!
But child, the master told me in soft voice, these roses will cost you blood, you are not suited for this.
Master, I am ready for whatever pain or suffering I will have to go through, I beg you, make Roses bloom on my skin, for I have never felt either being beautiful nor being free.
I cant, child, this is something not to be tread lightly.
Master, I beg of you, stitch the freedom I desire into me...
Child, I hope you wont regret your newfound freedom as soon as you taste it, please follow me inside.
I was led into his workshop, the walls covered with beautiful drawings of all sorts of beautiful things, dragons, unicorns, roses, lilys, mountains, beaches, oceans...
A bed was in the middle of the back of the shop, a courtain separating it from the rest of the room.
On a little table there were aligned a lot of different needles and little bottles full of ink.
What roses do you wish for, my child?
I... dont know... roses... beautiful roses
What color do you desire?
Does it matter, Master?
Yes it does, child, each rose color means something else.
Would you chose for me?
No child, it is something you have to chose for yourself, as it is something that will accompany you for the rest of your days.
Then... I want blue roses
Very well, please lay face down on the bed and uncover your back
I was unsure of the Masters intentions... he could take advantage of me while I undressed myself
Nothing to worry about, child, no harm I will do upon you
His calm and silky voice soothed me
I took of my blouse and lay flat on my stomach on the bed
I am ready, Master, I told the master, as he had begun preparing all the needles and was with his back turned to me
Child, this is the point of no return, once the first needle has pierced your skin I will ahve to continue, for I never leave my work halfway, so I will ask one last time: are you sure of this?
Yes, Master, I am sure of this. I will bear with whatever comes from here on
The master took the needle in his hand and placed it on my back, as the tip touched my skin I could feel the coolness of the metal
The coolness was soon replaced by pain, excruciating pain that made me cry out in agony
I told you, Child, these roses are gonna cost you dear
Before I could even reply I felt the piercing of the needle yet again, another cry
Blood began flowing out of the piercings made by the skillful hands of the Master
Roses, vines, leaves and blood bloomed on my back, the white bedsheet slowly changed its color to bloodred
Just then I saw it, in the corner of the shop, was a basket full of bloodstained bedsheets
The price of the roses was pain and blood, a long agony that ended hours later when the Master stood up and evaluated his work
The deed is done, Child, you can rise from your grave, as you have been dead and reborn
I couldnt move, my blodshot back was still aching from all the piercings
Here Child, take a look yourself at your freedom, the Master told me as he put a mirror next to my head and held another one over my back
Its magnificent, is all I could mutter
My back had been turned into a rose, vines, leaves, buds, blooming roses...
Now Child, how are you going to pay?
P...Pay?, I stuttered
Yes Child, my skill does not come free nor cheap, did you not think about that when you walked into my shop?
No..., I answered quietly and shy
See, Child? Such reckless and thoughtless behaviour is what you have to get through if you ever wish your freedom...
I..., I was completely clueless on what I might say or do in this situation
Child, lest we make an agreement and you pay for my skill, you will never grow or gain freedom, so listen very carefully to what I am about to tell you. You will pay me back working for me and sometimes letting me use your skin to paint on it. This way you will learn.
Yes..., I said, Yes Master, I will work
Good, Child, now go, you will start tomorrow morning. Another thing Child, please wear from now on clothes that show your back so everyone can see.
I nodded and got up from the bed, I did not care anymore if he saw me like this after showing me how compassionate and kind he was.
Do you have a scissor, Master?
Yes Child, what do you want it for?
I want to cut open the back of the blouse so I can show my back
As you wish Child, he said as he went to get the scissors
He swiftly brought them to me, I cut the back in half and put on the blouse
Until tomorrow, Child
Yes... tomorrow, I mindlessly answered as i made my way to the door
As I left the shop, the Master went to the back and started cleaning everything, a task I would do for the next year.
I took the longest way home I could think of
As I crossed a bridge, I stopped and directed my gaze to the sea, so close and familiar as mysterious and unknown.
I am the sea, I have know myself for a lifetime and yet I know nothing about me...
With that thought circling my mind I stood on the bridge and watched the coast until the dusk made its way into the night.
PS: This entry was inspired entirely on this song, I highly recommend you listen to it and read the lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I37CYmYQwjA
My youth, my parents, even the man I was meant to marry...
Everything overwhelmed me, had me in its mercy, a tidal wave washing away my dreams and desires.
I had taken few decisions in my life, but this one I would take and follow through for once.
I ran as never before, streets flying by, corner after corner I turned, a blurr of emotions and memories coiled around my consciousness.
Thats what brought me to this particular house. Nothing special from the outside, but the inhabitant was a gifted individual: he painted on human skin.
As I stood in front of the house I called out:
Master! Master! Give me Roses, paint your roses on my young and uncorrupted skin!
Sting those roses into me!
But child, the master told me in soft voice, these roses will cost you blood, you are not suited for this.
Master, I am ready for whatever pain or suffering I will have to go through, I beg you, make Roses bloom on my skin, for I have never felt either being beautiful nor being free.
I cant, child, this is something not to be tread lightly.
Master, I beg of you, stitch the freedom I desire into me...
Child, I hope you wont regret your newfound freedom as soon as you taste it, please follow me inside.
I was led into his workshop, the walls covered with beautiful drawings of all sorts of beautiful things, dragons, unicorns, roses, lilys, mountains, beaches, oceans...
A bed was in the middle of the back of the shop, a courtain separating it from the rest of the room.
On a little table there were aligned a lot of different needles and little bottles full of ink.
What roses do you wish for, my child?
I... dont know... roses... beautiful roses
What color do you desire?
Does it matter, Master?
Yes it does, child, each rose color means something else.
Would you chose for me?
No child, it is something you have to chose for yourself, as it is something that will accompany you for the rest of your days.
Then... I want blue roses
Very well, please lay face down on the bed and uncover your back
I was unsure of the Masters intentions... he could take advantage of me while I undressed myself
Nothing to worry about, child, no harm I will do upon you
His calm and silky voice soothed me
I took of my blouse and lay flat on my stomach on the bed
I am ready, Master, I told the master, as he had begun preparing all the needles and was with his back turned to me
Child, this is the point of no return, once the first needle has pierced your skin I will ahve to continue, for I never leave my work halfway, so I will ask one last time: are you sure of this?
Yes, Master, I am sure of this. I will bear with whatever comes from here on
The master took the needle in his hand and placed it on my back, as the tip touched my skin I could feel the coolness of the metal
The coolness was soon replaced by pain, excruciating pain that made me cry out in agony
I told you, Child, these roses are gonna cost you dear
Before I could even reply I felt the piercing of the needle yet again, another cry
Blood began flowing out of the piercings made by the skillful hands of the Master
Roses, vines, leaves and blood bloomed on my back, the white bedsheet slowly changed its color to bloodred
Just then I saw it, in the corner of the shop, was a basket full of bloodstained bedsheets
The price of the roses was pain and blood, a long agony that ended hours later when the Master stood up and evaluated his work
The deed is done, Child, you can rise from your grave, as you have been dead and reborn
I couldnt move, my blodshot back was still aching from all the piercings
Here Child, take a look yourself at your freedom, the Master told me as he put a mirror next to my head and held another one over my back
Its magnificent, is all I could mutter
My back had been turned into a rose, vines, leaves, buds, blooming roses...
Now Child, how are you going to pay?
P...Pay?, I stuttered
Yes Child, my skill does not come free nor cheap, did you not think about that when you walked into my shop?
No..., I answered quietly and shy
See, Child? Such reckless and thoughtless behaviour is what you have to get through if you ever wish your freedom...
I..., I was completely clueless on what I might say or do in this situation
Child, lest we make an agreement and you pay for my skill, you will never grow or gain freedom, so listen very carefully to what I am about to tell you. You will pay me back working for me and sometimes letting me use your skin to paint on it. This way you will learn.
Yes..., I said, Yes Master, I will work
Good, Child, now go, you will start tomorrow morning. Another thing Child, please wear from now on clothes that show your back so everyone can see.
I nodded and got up from the bed, I did not care anymore if he saw me like this after showing me how compassionate and kind he was.
Do you have a scissor, Master?
Yes Child, what do you want it for?
I want to cut open the back of the blouse so I can show my back
As you wish Child, he said as he went to get the scissors
He swiftly brought them to me, I cut the back in half and put on the blouse
Until tomorrow, Child
Yes... tomorrow, I mindlessly answered as i made my way to the door
As I left the shop, the Master went to the back and started cleaning everything, a task I would do for the next year.
I took the longest way home I could think of
As I crossed a bridge, I stopped and directed my gaze to the sea, so close and familiar as mysterious and unknown.
I am the sea, I have know myself for a lifetime and yet I know nothing about me...
With that thought circling my mind I stood on the bridge and watched the coast until the dusk made its way into the night.
PS: This entry was inspired entirely on this song, I highly recommend you listen to it and read the lyrics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I37CYmYQwjA
25/1/14
Isolated
I dont know whats going on out there.
I hear noises, police sirens, people screaming, but I cant go out.
If they were to find me...
They would probably lock me up, too much I do know about what is going on in this city in comparison to the outside world.
This promised land is no more than a dystopia in a foreigners eyes such as mine.
Foolish of me to think that here I would find a peaceful place.
I cant imagine a place where more war is waged on a daily basis.
War against drugs, war against crime, war against prostitution, war against iliteracy, war against this, war against that, but war nevertheless...
And there is victims, criminals, colateral damage, investments, expenditures, guns, martyrs...
This city is the very definition of insanity and thought crime is just a few steps ahead.
I cant go out, I cant escape, this time I really am trapped...
They can not help me no matter how much they want.
I can only wait for a miracle I guess...
I hear noises, police sirens, people screaming, but I cant go out.
If they were to find me...
They would probably lock me up, too much I do know about what is going on in this city in comparison to the outside world.
This promised land is no more than a dystopia in a foreigners eyes such as mine.
Foolish of me to think that here I would find a peaceful place.
I cant imagine a place where more war is waged on a daily basis.
War against drugs, war against crime, war against prostitution, war against iliteracy, war against this, war against that, but war nevertheless...
And there is victims, criminals, colateral damage, investments, expenditures, guns, martyrs...
This city is the very definition of insanity and thought crime is just a few steps ahead.
I cant go out, I cant escape, this time I really am trapped...
They can not help me no matter how much they want.
I can only wait for a miracle I guess...
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