Life went on without me...

She remained silent for a moment, as if pondering the words she was about to speak.
*I dont really know how to beginn with this tale, there is so much to tell...*
"I think we have plenty of time, you dont have to worry about that, take your time" - I calmly told her as I directed my gaze to the window.
The wasteland underwent no change from one day to the other, the horizon and the sun made the ilusion of slight change real.
*It is a little complicated and mysterious*
"I'm ready for whatever you have to tell me"
*I sure hope so* - she looked out of the window one last time and then saw me right in the eye.
*We waited for the hatch to open so we you could get out... but we had not quite thought about how much time it would take you to get there before the hatch closed yet again, so the problems started there, we had to use the tray to block the closing gate, which probably triggered some kind of alarm, which we did not notice at the time but found out later*
She stopped her narration and looked at me, as she saw that I had barely reacted to her telling, she continued.
*The nightmare began once we were outside of the room. It was a maze and we had no clue how to advance, any plans we made have made had no more use once we were confronted with the truth of the mission. We thought about following whatever device that had brought the tray to the room, for it was carried there somehow, there was nothing to be seen though, we later deduced that the alarm had made the devide either hide or self destruct. Clock was ticking and we needed to get out of there. We did not know if there was going to be any punishment for you for trying to escape, if someone or something would come out of the blue to either return you to your room or kill you on the spot.*
I had started sweating, each pearl made the fog in my mind diminish.
*I cant really tell how much time we spent wandering through the maze... but every second that passed made our anxiety grow as we could not fathom what would happen next. We were able to find what seemed the pathway to the exit, dont ask me how we did it, after so much wandering my memories also distort and deform at some point*
I could remember monotony, endless corridors, one corner after the other we looked around in search of any clue that could lead us to the exit...
*We were on our way as we heard the shrieking sound of the alarm and the guardian of the maze*
I had trouble swallowing as my memory was kind enough to make me remember just a bit of that scene.
*A mechanic thresher maw was at the end of the corridor quickly making its way towards us...*


Kleid aus Rosen

I left everything behind...
My youth, my parents, even the man I was meant to marry...
Everything overwhelmed me, had me in its mercy, a tidal wave washing away my dreams and desires.
I had taken few decisions in my life, but this one I would take and follow through for once.
I ran as never before, streets flying by, corner after corner I turned, a blurr of emotions and memories coiled around my consciousness.
Thats what brought me to this particular house. Nothing special from the outside, but the inhabitant was a gifted individual: he painted on human skin.
As I stood in front of the house I called out:
Master! Master! Give me Roses, paint your roses on my young and uncorrupted skin!
Sting those roses into me!
But child, the master told me in soft voice, these roses will cost you blood, you are not suited for this.
Master, I am ready for whatever pain or suffering I will have to go through, I beg you, make Roses bloom on my skin, for I have never felt either being beautiful nor being free.
I cant, child, this is something not to be tread lightly.
Master, I beg of you, stitch the freedom I desire into me...
Child, I hope you wont regret your newfound freedom as soon as you taste it, please follow me inside.
I was led into his workshop, the walls covered with beautiful drawings of all sorts of beautiful things, dragons, unicorns, roses, lilys, mountains, beaches, oceans...
A bed was in the middle of the back of the shop, a courtain separating it from the rest of the room.
On a little table there were aligned a lot of different needles  and little bottles full of ink.
What roses do you wish for, my child?
I... dont know... roses... beautiful roses
What color do you desire?
Does it matter, Master?
Yes it does, child, each rose color means something else.
Would you chose for me?
No child, it is something you have to chose for yourself, as it is something that will accompany you for the rest of your days.
Then... I want blue roses
Very well, please lay face down on the bed and uncover your back
I was unsure of the Masters intentions... he could take advantage of me while I undressed myself
Nothing to worry about, child, no harm I will do upon you
His calm and silky voice soothed me
I took of my blouse and lay flat on my stomach on the bed
I am ready, Master, I told the master, as he had begun preparing all the needles and was with his back turned to me
Child, this is the point of no return, once the first needle has pierced your skin I will ahve to continue, for I never leave my work halfway, so I will ask one last time: are you sure of this?
Yes, Master, I am sure of this. I will bear with whatever comes from here on
The master took the needle in his hand and placed it on my back, as the tip touched my skin I could feel the coolness of the metal
The coolness was soon replaced by pain, excruciating pain that made me cry out in agony
I told you, Child, these roses are gonna cost you dear
Before I could even reply I felt the piercing of the needle yet again, another cry
Blood began flowing out of the piercings made by the skillful hands of the Master
Roses, vines, leaves and blood bloomed on my back, the white bedsheet slowly changed its color to bloodred
Just then I saw it, in the corner of the shop, was a basket full of bloodstained bedsheets
The price of the roses was pain and blood, a long agony that ended hours later when the Master stood up and evaluated his work
The deed is done, Child, you can rise from your grave, as you have been dead and reborn
I couldnt move, my blodshot back was still aching from all the piercings
Here Child, take a look yourself at your freedom, the Master told me as he put a mirror next to my head and held another one over my back
Its magnificent, is all I could mutter
My back had been turned into a rose, vines, leaves, buds, blooming roses...
Now Child, how are you going to pay?
P...Pay?, I stuttered
Yes Child, my skill does not come free nor cheap, did you not think about that when you walked into my shop?
No..., I answered quietly and shy
See, Child? Such reckless and thoughtless behaviour is what you have to get through if you ever wish your freedom...
I..., I was completely clueless on what I might say or do in this situation
Child, lest we make an agreement and you pay for my skill, you will never grow or gain freedom, so listen very carefully to what I am about to tell you. You will pay me back working for me and sometimes letting me use your skin to paint on it. This way you will learn.
Yes..., I said, Yes Master, I will work
Good, Child, now go, you will start tomorrow morning. Another thing Child, please wear from now on clothes that show your back so everyone can see.
I nodded and got up from the bed, I did not care anymore if he saw me like this after showing me how compassionate and kind he was.
Do you have a scissor, Master?
Yes Child, what do you want it for?
I want to cut open the back of the blouse so I can show my back
As you wish Child, he said as he went to get the scissors
He swiftly brought them to me, I cut the back in half and put on the blouse
Until tomorrow, Child
Yes... tomorrow, I mindlessly answered as i made my way to the door
As I left the shop, the Master went to the back and started cleaning everything, a task I would do for the next year.
I took the longest way home I could think of
As I crossed a bridge, I stopped and directed my gaze to the sea, so close and familiar as mysterious and unknown.
I am the sea, I have know myself for a lifetime and yet I know nothing about me...
With that thought circling my mind I stood on the bridge and watched the coast until the dusk made its way into the night.

PS: This entry was inspired entirely on this song, I highly recommend you listen to it and read the lyrics