Unusual lighting

The first time the bulb was lit i had had the inspiration to writte something down, but it wasnt like that always.
Many days the bulb lit up and i sat there, in the middle of the room, staring at the stack of white papers.
*Nothing* i answer.
*I just have nothing right now...*
"Well, dont worry too much about it. Im sure youy will get something in time"
*I sure hope so, i just cant stand the thought of being unable to writte anything down... I am afraid of everything bottling up inside me and then sudenly exploding unexpectedly*
"As i said, dont fret about it or it will get worse"
I look down at the papers. They whisper my name, they ask to be used, they want something to be written on them, but i cant feed them anything today.
My mind is as blank as them, my mind craving for ideas.
I sit up and walk towards a corner and sit down there.
"What are you doing?"
*Trying to relax, empty my mind...*
"If you say so..."
*Just give me 5 minutes, please*
I stayed in the dark corner till the bulb died out...
I cried for some time, the frustration of the unfullfilled tale in my head corroding me slowly.
I wept for quite some time, but he didnt aproach me nor tried to cheer me up, he understood what was happening to me and decided that it was better to leave me be for the time being.

I looked forward and i saw nothing. The future seemed as black as the room.
A note hit me... then a chord.... then the whole song flowed in my mind.
I stood up, i had to writte something, but i had no light.
I touched with my hands the gound in front of me and advanced until i felt the papers under my palm.
I tried to search for the pen, but i just couldnt find it.
I had to find the pen, i just had to, else it would be my doom.
Light filled the room, the bulb had lit up once again.
Although this was a strange event, i paid no attention to it, i needed to writte...


1000 pages of unwritten text

The first days of my imprisonment were hell.
I had nothing, absolutely nothing to do.
I wandered the room again and again until i fell on my knees exhausted and fell to sleep.
One day when i woke up he was there...
"Good Morning" He greeted me.
*Who are you?* i asked somewhat shocked to discover my torment had been set upon another soul besides myself.
"Funny you ask me that, you should know yourself"
*I have been trapped here for god knows how much time and you expect me to know you?*
"You have been trapped here only 13 days..."
*How do you even know that?*
"I know many things, for instance i know that soon you will have something to do..."
*WHO are you, HOW do you know that and WHO sent you?*
"I was sent by nobody but yourself, you called me here. I am... that is not that important right now, the important thing is that you will see light in 3...2...1..."
My eyes were momentarily blinded by the light that came from a lighting bulb hanging by the ceiling.
The middle of the room was now quite well lit and the rest lay in a gloomy glow.
There, in the middle of the room, lay sheets of paper and a pen.
"you like it?"
I couldnt say a word.
I felt mesmerized by the sheets of paper, the pen drawing me closer as if it were a magnet.
I took steps towards the middle of the room.
As soon as i reached the sheets, i dropped to my knees, grasped the pencil and began writting:

All i ever wished for
all i ever wanted
was to see your smile
just one more time

All i ever longed for
all i ever craved for
was to share with you
just one more day

All the stars are shining
and the light is blinding
No i wont see
you except in my mind

It hurts me so
to not know
whats is going
through your

It pains me to know
they i may as well be
wasting my time

Despite this i'll show
you that i care and
you are deep inside my

All (that) ever existed
and was once created
is crumbling right before my

All the distant planets
all the foreign lifeforms
wandering through my mind
from time to time

All the bottled feelings
walking through
the tundra

slowly freezing up
and in due time

to you i will show
that there is an
option you might not

why wont you let me
break through the
barrier you have

Just let me cross
the field that
is covered in

The Absolute Terror
reflected in your eyes
you can not hide

This was the first song of the many that were to come...


How did i get here?

I cant really recall too much of what happened when i first arrived at this place.
I woke up one day and i was in here. I couldnt remember anything up to that point either, so I panicked. Running around the room, checking the walls for any signs of a door or window or anything that could lead me out of that place.
It was useless.
I was trapped inside a dark room, absolutely disconnected from the outer world.
After i recovered from the initial shock, i started trying to remember how i had gotten there and who i was before i arrived at this place.
I couldnt even remember my name, i could remember some apparently random concepts and images.
I remembered an landscape covered in snow, a cementery, a grave in the shape of a suffering angel. Some strange simbols also came to mind: 天使 水 神 男 人 絶望。
I could only picture those things in my mind, nothing else would come.
Then, suddenly, a song started playing inside my brain.
I felt the power of every chord, of every single note, flowing through me, filling me up.
I fell on the floor, unable to control my body. I had a vision.
I was in the middle of the landscape I had seen before, but this time I wasnt alone.
I was in the middle of a circle of people whom I couldnt recognize, their faces hidden behind a black hood.
*Do you really know me?* I screamed at the top of my lungs.
They all waved their heads.
They were there, surrounding me, not letting me escape, yet they didnt really know me.
They were there tu fullfil the task they had been given, mindlessly following instructions given by a superior power whom they had never encountered in person...
They all took out a gun from their robes and pointed them at me.
*Could i learn to be like you some day?* I pleaded.
They waved their heads once again.
I closed my eyes, ready for what was about to happen.
A gunshot.
I fall slowly. The world stops spinning for me for a brief moment in time. hen it returns to its normal speed and i hit the snow.
I look down as my blood starts to soack the snow.
*Can you see my blood when I am bleeding?* I ask them as they look down at me.
They wave a third time.
I look up to the sky. Some clouds beginn to move and a ray of light shines on me.
I can feel my soul departing my body and flying up t heaven.
But heaven is closed and my soul returns to my body.
Seems not even my death will be easy.
I closed my eyes one last time.

I snapped back to reality.
Darkness all around me, solitude as my only companion and a future that seemed even darker than the room I was lying in.


The four walls

I woke up in darkness as I was used to by now. It didnt surprise me anymore.
"Finally awake?"
*good morning to you too*
It had been some time since I had those kinds of nightmares. And this one was new too.
"Good night rest?"
*make a wild guess*
"ou ou ou, i love guessing... Uhhh a nightmare?"
"Abooout... Water!"
*Yeah, somewhat related to water, I gotta admit that you are getting better at this*
"So much time together is finally paying up"
*As if there was anything positive about you being with me*

A dark room with just a matress, some blankets and a wc with a sink.
This is where I spend my days, or nights, I have absolutely no idea about what is going on in the outside world.
Every time I wake up there is a tray with some plates on it lying near my bed. It contains the three basic meals. Someone is keeping me alive in here for no apparent reason.
"Hey! Whats for breakfast?"
*Havent had time to check, gimme a second sheesh*
I crawled out of bed and searched for the tray. As usual it was only a few feet away from the mattres.
*Today we got...* i said as my hand made its way cross the tray * apples*
*Stop bitching, not like this is a hotel and we guests, be grateful we got something to eat*
I grab an apple and give it a huge bite. Its tasty and juicy. I smell it and let the smell fill my nosetrills with its aroma. The smell is nice for a change. The dark room doesnt smell bad, but it doesnt smell good either. It has the basic facilities, true, but it lacks so much at the same time. A simple working light bulb would be like a treasure.
Four walls in which I really cant do much. I have plenty of time to think, but that just isnt enough.
I have wondered why I am here, why I am being kept alive.
No answer comes to mind.
"Watcha thinking bout?"
*Why are we here?*
"I stopped wondering some time ago"
*You never wondered in the first place, you just went along*
"Got me"
*'Course i did*
I didnt know what was gonna happen, all I knew was what had happened until now...


The Awakening

I woke up surrounded by darkness. I could see nothing at all.
I could hear the sound of drops of water when falling on a pond.
*Where am I?*
It could have been a dungeon or something like that, but i didnt have shakles of any sort on any part of my body.
Sewers perhaps?
Couldnt be. It didnt smell bad or foul.
*Where am i then?*
Many thoughts crossed my mind and even more questions arose from the depths.
*How did i get here in the first place? I really cant recall anything besides waking up here...*
*I better move*
I had to find out what my surroundings looked like. I crawled in one direction, using my hands as antennae.
I had to come to a sudden stop.
*Nothing... there is nothing here*
*How is it possible?*
I tried to remain calm and tried my luck in another direction, just for the same outcome.
I tried other directions, but it was always the same. After some meters, there was absolutely nothing. I had had some hope when crawling in the last direction that remained unchecked, maybe that one would be different from the rest.
But the cold reality hit my face like a wet towel.
There was nothing there, i was sitting in the middle of an island, stranded.
The sound of the water was slowly driving me insane.
*Could there be a pond beneath this island?*
Its seemed like a crazy idea, but the whole situation was, so maybe it could even make sense.
The trickling sound bore into the back of my head, my mind telling me to make a leap of faith and jump.
*Its not like i will be able to survive much time on this island anyway. There are only two posibilities: either i die when hitting the ground or there is a pond and i can look for an exit...*
I stood on my two feet.
I had to make a decision now.
The sound of the drops inviting me to jump, my survival instincts telling me to remain on the island and wait for something to happen.
One step forward...
Forward to an unknown future.
Forward to what could be a certain death.
Forward to discovering a truth that could either hurt or be most precious to me.
Another step, and another and another...
That was it, half of my foot was now over the abyss.
I have to do something.
I am standing on the verge of what could be death.
My foot slips, i fall...
The wind blows through my hair, it feels good.
The last drop hits the surface.