"If there was anything i could do..."
"There is nothing you could do..."
"Maybe not now, but, who knows, maybe in the future..."
We had a fight like this once in a while.
It was just too hard for us both to accept that she wouldnt be around in a
short amount of time.
We were aware of the fact that everybody dies, nobody is free from their duty
towards the grave. But her case was different.
If someone died in their sleep from a heart attack, it was a shock for
everybody, but it couldnt be helped.
But if someone was slowly being eaten away by a sickness with no possible
cure, then the situation changed.
We tried our best to live every single day as if it would be her last and as if
she would live forever, but sometimes we got blown away by reality,
impossing itself on us, forcing us to look to its way. There wasnt too much
She didnt play the violin anymore.
"Why waste time on that?"
"Because art has never and will never be a waste of time"
Sometimes i convinced her with that simple statement. She would get up
from the bed and get the old, yet beautiful and heavenly sounding Stradivarius
violin out of its case. She would play enthralling music, making me loose
myself in its wake, completely possesed by the magic of each note.
Slowly dripping on me, the melody made its way from the violin to infinity.
That sound would always be there, no matter if she would not play anymore,
no matter if she were to fade away. The memory remained and thus she
would live on with me, no matter what, no matter when.
While i listened to her i gazed at the old willow that poured its branches into
A lake full of life.
And our house would remain as full of life as the lake as far as we would
make it toghether.
And time played no role no more.
We had to life each day through. Nothing mattered more than her, her well
being, her everything...
Unbroken silence would hang in the air after she finished playing.
She would then put the violin back in its case, sadness stricken picture
painted on her face, a lonely tear rolling down her cheek.
It had become a habit for me to collect that tear and put it in a jar with the
rest of her sisters, so they would stay toghether and keep company.
I would do the same for her as long as i could.
Laying on the bed, her breath steady for maybe not too long, her head on my
chest. I would stare at the ceiling watching time pass by, not giving us a
spare minute to enjoy toghether...
We are all slaves, children of darkness.
Sentenced to the world of fairy tales.
As slaves we are condemned to live
together in the darkest tales.
And when the moon glides on us,
high above on the star spread ceiling
in the unique experience
that is every single night,
we shall seek out the heart
that we desire most.
And nights go by,
and notes are played,
yet the music remains the same,
every time the melody
that lures us out of our hiding,
out of darkness
to witness the moons beauty one more time
to search for what we long for
what we once had, but no more.
And if the day were to come
in which the music ceased
we would go out hunting for the notes
scattered around the world they would be
lost, frightened, maybe even forgotten
our duty it will be to put back the piece
restore the melody that keeps us awake
That was the oath sworn by the ghosts once they were reawakened.
Death itself made us swear on its scite that we would, if there ever was the
need, restore the music.
The music that kept us alive. If it stopped playing for too long, our existence
would fade for ever from this world.
What created that music?
Where did it come from?
I can just tell that i hear it every night, when the moon reaches the peak.
The notes sound as if they were being poured into my ears slowly, like a
think liquid, into my head.
I can just hope that the music never stops...
I dont really know what i would be supposed to do if that were to happen.
I gaze up at the nightsky.
A beautiful night it is, but the dawn may bring sorrow upon me.
It may not go well, it may fail miserably.
I can just wish for everything to turn out for the best, as there isnt much more
i can do.
If he were to get out alive, where would he go anyway?
The nagging feeling of guilt wont leave me on this night.
I put him in this situation, yet i havent concerned myself with thinking what
could happen once he got out.
I remember there was a village near here, one in which there were still some
of the living. Maybe he could find shelter there...
The moon bathes me in its light.
I feel better now, the moon gives us ghosts some kind of energy i guess.
Dawn is approaching and i should be on my way...
The night ended, as ended a chapter in my life.
From that sunrise on a new light would shine for me.
Everything lived before i would have to carry with me, not as a burden, but as a reminder of where i came from, as an experience i would treasure.
*I have good and bad news* she whispered softly into my ear.
"Bad ones first at this time of the morning* i muttered, still half asleep.
*Escaping from here is far from easy*
"I could have expected as much"
*No, you cant imagine...*
*The food comes from a vent...*
"Nothing strange about it"
*But i cant really tell where it ends, its a labyrinth, as if they expected that you would try to flee*
"So? you could guide me..."
"How come you cant? You are, please forgive my bluntness, a ghost, there is no wall that can block your way"
*But there are ways to prevent ghosts from entering certain places...*
"What do you mean?"
*Ghosts must have become something usual in these days. I havent had the luck to find them, this does not mean there arent more like me. In fact, the labyrinth is protected by a web of charms*
"You mean like those asian charms that prevent bad spirits from entering the houses and such?"
"So i would be on my own then?"
*I fear so...* she said as her gaze met the ground
*May I interrupt?*
"Now thats a surprise, you showing up"
*Yeah whatever, this aint no time to start with sarcasm. I got an idea*
"Lets hear it then"
*I can help you through the labyrinth*
"And how is it that you plan on doing so?"
*By scouting it beforehand and then showing you the way out, if there is a way out that is*
"I love how you always have to smash me when i am down"
*My pleasure, as usual*
*But... you cant go in there either*
*What makes you say that, lady?*
*Well... i mean, you are a ghost, too*
I turned my head to face him. I hadnt realized up until now that i hadnt seen him in all the time i had been locked up. As soon as the light lit i was busy writting and the rest of the time the room lay in darkness, so trying to see him would have been quite futile.
He was indeed quite translucent.
My eyes shot open and my mouth hung open.
*Surprised?* he asked, irony covering his words.
*Ill take that as a yes. Now to you, lady. I am no ghost whatsoever. I am a projection of your little friend here. Im his projected alter ego. Whenever he is happy, i am sad, whenever he is sad i am happy. We complement each other, we are the same but in two different forms*
*I didnt even know that this could be possible*
"You tell me... i have been living with him for the past months"
*Thats where you are wrong. Technically we have always been together, from the moment of your birth. Its just that one day i found a way to actually break free from my own imprisonment. What i didnt know at the time was that if would be a quite limited freedom. I cant be too far away from him and if he were to die, would follow suit.*
*So you are some kind of... daemonion?*
*You could say that*
"And you are not a ghost?"
*As i said before, no. I am a physical projection of a spiritual part of your being.*
"The world is spinning too fast, i wanna get out"
*Too late Alice, now you have thrown yourself face-first into the rabbithole.*
*We should try to make a plan. Food is brought here at least 2 times a day usually, so you have just one chance, for the moment when you fail they probably wont let you try again.*
*Id say we do it when they bring breakfast*
"What do you have in mind?"
We sat in a triangle and discussed what would be the most important plan i would have to go through and perform in my life until that moment...
Silent night, restless night.
That has always applied to me, and tonight wouldnt be an exception.
I dreamt of a samurai in a distant future, fighting the eternal evil of the world
that haunted him and everyone else.
I dreamt of a forest filled with life...
trees, birds, bugs, flowers and then, of course, the kamis.
They all roamed free through the forest, causing little mischief and having fun.
A bard sung a tale long forgotten about a cast away warrior who had given
everything for love, and thus lost everything.
He also told the tale of other bards who had won wars only with the aid
of their intruments and other bards.
Those were the times only remembered by the ancient, by the wise.
I looked at my hands. Shining metal nails sheened by the moonlight.
I was on a branch, waiting for a certain someone to appear.
A shadow crawls into the forest.
It looks around, its nervous, i can sense it.
Quick glances, quicker footsteps.
Might it know i am here?
No, cant be.
Now its approaching the tree on which I have been waiting.
It takes a break.
I leap downwards.
The wind flows through my hair.
Nails first i fly towards my victim.
Just in the last second does it notice me.
We both end up lying on the ground.
I quickly regain my footing and grab it by the throat in order to pull it up and lean it against the tree.
The hood lets me see only the mouth, but that will suffice.
its not like i need to check if it is who i think it is.
Still, i think it rather romantic to see its face under the moonlight.
With my free hand i pull back the hood.
The moonlight cant compare to the beauty of the silver her she has.
Those green eyes that can pierce right through my soul.
She holds one hand up and puts it against my cheeck.
"What took you so long?" i ask.
"Its not like its a short way. Was all this necessary?" she gives me a thoughtful look.
"It is from the moment i saw you. You are my prey. I am the hunter.
And i have hunted for you long enough, my dear" I answer as i caress her hair.
I look into her eyes and feel like i am sinking into her.
I cant stand it any more.
I press my lips against hers.
The moment lasts for an eternity.
When i open them her body is laying against the tree, lifeless.
Not a single drop of blood was shed in this murder.
I had gotten accustomed to gruesome crime scenes caused by my hands,
but this time it hadnt been me who had performed the task.
Illness was far better of an assasin as i would ever be.
It left no visible mark, it came without any warning and when you percieved it,
it meant it was far too late for you.
I was stealthy and i was efficient, but never would I be neither that skilled nor that cruel.
I took care of matters for money, illness did it for no reason.
I had others tell me who to kill, illness was its own taskgiver.
If i was to be found out, , they would hang me for it. If it was illness who did the job,
it would never have to pay for its crimes.
I envied the skill and position illness had gotten in this world. Untouchable,
undetectable, eternal. I could only hope to be the second of those things.
I had vowed i would be and her death would only bring more committment to my cause.
Never again would anybody see a shadow fleeing a crime scene. I would not affor that risk.
I was to change and under this tree i made my new oaths with the blood of the one i had loved and had been taken away from me by a silent killer who i would never be able to kill in revenge.
The ways of the assasin had hardships, but this would be a burden very hard to bear.
Swearing vendetta on her for the last time, I made my way into the woods.
There were many more who would have to leave this world by my hand tonight...
The happiness of the blind man
is to look up to the sky
and see more than the star sprinkled night
he longs for the clouds
he wants to fly up there
shape them to any possible shape
make himself a home
he wants to drink the rain
just wish for it
it may even happen
eat cotton candy clouds
drink chocolate milk rain
each raindrop is happiness poured into a glass
and everything else suddendly seems irrelevant
build a castle out of dreams
you know you can
get some friends to help you
once done let them in
share with them your treasures
for you think they were meant to be shared
no army could be needed
in the sky there are no wars
no skyscrapers are seen
for not everyone deserves this fate
no earthquakes happen, no volcanoes erupt
there is no hunger
feed yourself and the others with whatever you find
it is there for a reason and has to fulfill its purpose
take a break
lay on the ground
imagine the world down here
where everybody longs for something
but that something they do not know what it is
they work hard
they are sad
and what for, if what they long for is to them unknown
and may not even exist?
The blind man looks up to the sky
or is it that he is seeing heaven?
The smile across his face
is as enigmatic as the eyes
hidden beneath his glasses.