The house and the lake

I looked out of the window.
The lake offered a dazzling look at this time of the year. The autumn leaves slowly falling from the trees and onto the lake itself, the fish swimming as if in slow motion, and the willow pouring its branches into the lake. The lake was truly the main source of life here.
Only a few dim rays of light fell into the room.
The dusty furniture reminded me of the old days in which we used to spend afternoons together, just watching the lake, not caring about the rest of the world.
She was the rest and the only thing in my world.
Laying on the shore, skygazing.
The clouds could become anything we wanted them to, there were no boundaries, there were no limitations, only our imagination as the only barrier. And her imagination was one of the most colorful and brilliant i ever met. Not a single cloud remained without turning into something never seen before. From trees to animals, pieces of furniture, sweets, fruits...
Anything she could paint on the clouds, and anything i would give right now to see her one more time, to feel her warmth on my shoulder, to hear her give birth to new clouds.


But life isnt that easy, those were words spoken by her while in her deathbed, still, you must carry on. You have to do it for yourself, but in times you may not find the strenght, then do it for me, for all the things we havent done yet, for all that life still owes me.
Keep living for me, for my memory, for as long as you life, i will live within you adn shall not die.
My body may have become fragile but my mind is still as bright as the first day we met, wouldnt you agree?
I could just nod while i held my tears back.
It wasnt fair, we had barely even met...
What is two years in the life of a man?
From that time we had met in the park until this day only two short years had passed, and that wasnt time enought to enjoy a persons company. I knew her, but i didnt fully know her, and that had been my only desire.
I had made my vows despite us not being married.
I had promised myself that i would keep her from harm,  that through any kind of weather id want us to be together, that id get to know her entirely, every inch of her skin, every corner of her mind, be for her a shoulder to cry on...
And there were many things i would not be able to do...
Her illness made her condition worse every day. The doctors said that her lifespan shortened every hour.
I couldnt bear the thought of losing her, thats why i remained by her side the entire time.
Are you ok, honey? she asked.
What could i tell her? I was in pain, but the suffering she had to go through made my misery seem... so little.
Yes, yes i am ok. Was all i could say.
I grabed her hand tightly and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She smiled weakly.
That night she passed away.
It was like in one of those books she liked to read. Peacefully, silently...
After she expired her last breath my eyes started cascading uncontrollably.
Now the pain was on me.
I lay on her and cryed my entire being out on her.
All our shared memories coming back to my mind, all the times spent together, the good times, the not so good times, in which she would just storm out of the room and lock herself up.
At that time i thought it bitter and cruel of her.
Now it seemed so feeble and unimportant.
Everything did.


The sun had set.
Time had passed.
She had told me that one time that i had to live on for the both of us and her wish i would fulfill.
I turned my gaze from the window.
The violin case in the corner of the room, just where she had left it.
I took some steps and hesitantly stood in front of it.
I had never had the courage to open it without her permission, but it felt as if it would be allright to do now.
I carefully lifted it from the ground and with it i went to the kitchen table.
That table used to be full of vegetables and fruits, now it was empty, as was the vast majority of the house.
I put the case on the table and undid the locks.
One of them shriecked, as if refusing to be opened.
I backed off.
Maybe it wasnt such a great idea, but it was open now, there was no turning back.
I lifted open the case.
There it was, her violin, untouched, uncorrupted, damned to be alone for all time now that nobody could play it, unable to cry...
I carefully took it out of the case. It was truly a work of art, to craft something so delicate.
It had her smell on it.
A solitary tear escaped my eye. I put it back to where it belonged and made my way to the doorway.
Just before i locked the door, i took one final peek inside.
Everything was where it should be, i could leave in peace.
I closed the door, took a deep breath and started walking with no direction, with no purpose yet.
I would find it though, i was sure of it.

No hay comentarios:

Publicar un comentario